Idol Blather - Season 6

Idol Blather Becomes Idol Savant

2008-02-19T19:10:00.000-08:00

For American Idol Season 7 coverage, visit our new site at:
http://idolsavant.blogspot.com/

FOX Announces Detailed 2008 Schedule

2008-01-04T06:39:00.000-08:00

Friday, December 21, 2007

Fans anxiously awaiting the return of American Idol can start planning their weeknights for the next few months, as Fox has announced a detailed schedule for the series. The show is set to kick off with a two-night, four-hour event on Tuesday, January 15, and Wednesday, January 16.

The early audition episodes, which some of us would rather not witness and some of us can't get enough of, will be the focus of the four-hour premiere. They'll continue through hour-long episodes that will air on January 22, 23, 29, and 30, as well as February 5 and 6.

Viewers who can't stand to watch the early carnage will want to start tuning in on Tuesday, February 12, which is when the Hollywood Round will begin. It'll kick off with a two-hour episode, followed by a one-hour episode the following night revealing the Top 24.

The Top 12 males and the Top 12 females will perform in two-hour episodes airing on Tuesday, February 19 and Wednesday, February 20. Those performances will be the first to allow audience voting, which means you can expect the elimination of two men and two women on February 21.

The male performers will then lay claim to Tuesdays, with the Top 10 singing during a 90-minute episode on February 26, followed by the Top 8 battling on March 4 from 8-9pm. Wednesdays will be ladies' night, with the Top 10 competing on February 27, and the Top 8 attempting to out-belt each other on March 5 from 9-10pm. Eliminations will take place on Thursdays at 8pm, culminating in the reveal of the Top 12 on March 6.

Finally, the performances of the Top 12 will begin on Tuesday, March 11, with a two-hour episode. The first single elimination of the season will take place the following night.

Bled From The Ears, And Blake's To Blame: Final Two Square Off

2007-05-22T23:47:00.000-07:00

The Space Needle,
as seen
from
the air,
approaching
Seattle Tacoma
Airport…
very soon

Tonight's final performance competition of the season was held in the prodigious Kodak Theatre, where Ryan Seacrest opened with the summary statement "100,000 down, 2 to go," as good a summary as any. He reminded us that this Final, between Blake Lewis and Jordin Sparks, is once again a battle of the sexes, as it has almost always been. But there's a new dynamic this season, which Simon Cowell condensed into a soundbite spread widely in the media this week — that it will be a battle featuring "a great entertainer" vs. "a great singer." As for me, I'm removing the gloves to deliver my own summary soundbite — that it was a battle between "a short dork" and "A tall Star." Minced words are no longer necessary. Phil Stacey, Chris Richardson, Lakisha Jones, and Felicity Huffman were all in the house.

Round 1 - 'Previously Performed' Choice
Blake Lewis, dressed for comfortable air travel in the first of three fascinatingly different argyle sweater vests worn over three different (I guess) untucked oxford shirts and grungy-looking shoes, reprised his beatbox rendition of Bon Jovi's You Give Love A Bad Name, for which he received a good deal of praise a few weeks back. I still disdain this lame song; and while it was on approximate par with his original performance, some of the ambush fresh factor was lost in the reprisal. And knowing that Jon was not standing in not the wings steaming, it just felt like something was missing. Blake's Dad assumed the drummer was responsible for all that noise. And by the way, if you were shot through the heart, wouldn't you say "and you did it, dammit!"? Now, if you were seriously injured by said shot, then you might say "shot through the heart, and a very expensive transplant was required to save my life, and……you're to blame." Now that would make much more sense. But it would still be a pretty lame lyric. The judges loved it however, causing me to wonder what decisions were made in the war room before the show regarding who should be propped up the most tonight.

Jordin Sparks, looking radiant in straighter, flatter hair, chose a real singer's song, Christina Aguilera's Fighter. There was noticably more seriousness and less playfulness in her tonight; and as the song progressed it was clear that she was bringing more energy, more performance to her delivery than usual, perhaps in a conscious effort to compete head-to-head with the so-called "Entertainer." Randy and invisibly-broken-nosed Paula both called it "stellar," but Simon was still stewing in his agenda. To paraphrase his critique, "Blake was great, and Jordin is still 17." But with the words "I am a fighter, and I ain't gonna stop / There is no turning back," Jordin was clearly playing to win — and doing just fine at it, thank you.

Round 2 - The 'Whatever' Choice
Blake began his Decline this evening with Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved, which was lame, pitchy and mediocre, underscoring his fatal dependence on mic-spitting. This is the sort of song choice which compelled the judges to call him "contemporary" and "edgy" all season long — go figure. Tonight however, they were scrambling for something positive to salvage out of this mess. "Uh, great song," said Randy. Uh-huh. Simon said "I wouldn't have chosen that song for the Final," while simultaneously thinking "Dude, did you see that close-up of Jordin's face on the big screen on that last number?," as he began to have second thoughts about Mr. Beatbox.

Part 2 of Jordin's campaign strategy featured her reprisal of Martina McBride's A Broken Wing. And although I thought she was somewhat drowned out by the music and background vocals, it was once again a money vocal at a time she needed it most. Randy called it 'flawless' and 'better than the original' [who's original?] before mentioning for the second time tonight and for the 28th time this season that she is 17. Paula was in fine form, with her insight that Jordin "looked adorable," while Simon finally decided to vacate the Dark Side and give over to the Sparks-shower, admitting "Now, that was good."

Round 3 - Kraft CrackerBarrel Songwriting Competition Winner
Please don't get me started on these cheesy treacly end-of-season songs. Only one thing could be worse than this homogenous vanilla pseudo-musical piece of velveeta called This Is My Now, and that would be Blake's hopelessly bad delivery of it. It started rather pitifully; and then, millions of viewers were forced to spend the next 3 minutes wondering what this guy was doing on the Kodak Theatre stage, and why the producers would sponsor a songwriting competition with this dud as the frickin' prizewinning yield. And so, all of us were forced to close our eyes and think of Jordin up on the big screen again (which was easy enough for me) just to get through it. This performance caused the judges to don a vicarious brave face for Blake, who by this time was exploring beatbox pantomime with a staccato sad/desperate smile, as he visualized the runner-up writing on the wall. Simon suggested that we must now judge Blake on his first 2 performances only, which reminded me of when a courtroom judge instructs the jury to ignore that last comment, which will be stricken from the record. But that never works — we all heard it loud and clear.

Jordin Sparks, a knockout in a knee-length sparkly black gown and large sparkly earrings, was given her songwriting competition winning song to sing, coincidentally named This Is My Now. This one had a melody, and was a much better song. By now I was thinking that it was unfair that Blake didn't get to sing the good one. And as I listened to Jordin's beautifully clear and emotive vocal, it hit me — could this in fact be the same song that Blake was attempting to perform a few minutes ago? Hmm, that would explain the verbatim song title… All facetiousness aside, this one cinched it for Sparks. By the end of the last tear-choked note, all three judges were ready to hand her the sceptre & crown and bouquet of roses and promise to never mention her age ever again.

Chris Daughtry (make-up by Gina Glocksen) closed the show with the Seattle-themed Home, which caused me to conjure up wistful anticipative images of Blake's "journey video." I think Lewis had a bad day.

The Semi-FInals: Three Into Two Won't Go

2007-05-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

A Question
Of Balance

Season 6 has been one of very few surprises (other than the Sanjaya Haircuts Du Jour); and with 3 remaining contestants, the writing seems to have been on the wall for a few weeks now — an inevitable girl-girl finale showdown. But tonight saw not one of the three pulling any punches, raising the suspense a notch more than I might have expected. Still, what would surprise us more than anything tomorrow night is to see a female eliminated. And though some may find the ultimate American Idol Winner pronouncement to be a surprise, expect nothing more outrageous than…oh, a girl who was repeatedly reminded she was too young for this game…coming out on top, perhaps? Did we forget that Britney Spears made her first step toward superstardom with a hit single at age 17? Not to mention Stevie Wonder, LeeAnn Rimes, and Tanya Tucker, all of whom scored with a major radio hit at age 13. But, I digress, and we're getting ahead of ourselves…

Nine (!) performances tonight, in 3 categories — organized according to who made the song choices. We caught video snippets of the contestants respective homecoming trips from the past week, but not much. And the judges all seemed to adapt the Paula Abdul mission statement tonight: I will find good in just about anything.

Judges' Choice
Jordin - Simon chose Rose Royce's Wishing On a Star; and though previously unheard by Phoenix native Sparks, she made a fine show of it. The arrangement had a slick, uptown jazz Anita Baker sort of feel — which Simon didn't care for — although he thought she sang it brilliantly. We didn't love the arrangement either, but found it all good nonetheless.

Blake hails from Seattle suburb Bothell, which rhymes with almost nothing, except maybe "awful." Paula chose The Police's classic Roxanne, which seemed an appropriate choice, at least on paper. Blake, looking somehow more would-be than could-be star, delivered a fairly mediocre & pitchy rendition, to be honest about it. Sting has his signature sound - a strong, controlled tenor that really has no peer; something one forgets until one hears a Blake Lewis copycat rendition. The judges were entirely too charitable this time; but then, they don't want everyone to jump to the conclusion that Blake is homebound this week.

Nashville native Melinda was informed by the governor of Tennessee that Randy Jackson [breaking one of his own cardinal rules] chose Whitney Houston's I Believe In You And Me for her. Melinda can handle anything, of course; but ironically, I (and she) had more trouble with this performance than any other she's turned in this season. I disagree with the judges — this was definitely not one of her best. Yes, it's a rangy, difficult song…and the difficulty showed. As a song choice for Melinda I give it a C-; as a performance, a B. It's not going to hurt her, but I'm not going to say it was great.

Producers' Choice
Jordin, who I will parenthetically forgive for loving Hanson's MMM-Bop [come on, she was only 6 when that hit], was saddled with the pedestrian Donna Summer disco hit She Works Hard For The Money. First of all, this is not a vocal showcase number and was never a great song in the first place; but Jordin easily sang it as well Summer did, effortlessly and stylefully. She looked great and seemed comfortable with it— against all odds, and of course sounded great. And three judges agreed.

It is rare that singer and song are as well matched as Blake and Maroon 5's This Love — perfect for his particular vocal skills (such as they are) and musical style (such as it is). It was a totally servicable performance which may or may not have been helped by Blake's obligatory injection of beat-scat piffle. Anyway, the judges liked.

Melinda was handed Tina Turner's autobiographical R & B classic Nutbush City Limits, and could well have been channeling Tina herself. Sporting over-the-eye bangs and hair extensions (?), Mindy delivered (as Randy said) another star performance. The ever-articulate Paula said it best with "We love you; we love you; we love you."

Contestants' Choice
It was only right for Jordin to reprise her best performance of the season with her goosebump-inducing I Who Have Nothing. If you did not experience goosebumps, please pause here and ask someone to check your pulse. Randy called it her best of the night. The seemingly extra-medicated Paula told Jordin that it "sat well in your voice." Well, okay. Simon did not like the song the first time she sang it and has not changed his opinion, though he owned up to the quality of the vocal. Jordin defused him, and us, with her disarming light-emitting smile, and accompanying earnest giggle. Yes, even Simon Cowell can be easily dismissed if you do it charmingly enough. Jordin did register some mild indignation over Simon's problem with the song's age — I mean, aren't 90% of the songs performed on this show 30-40 years old? Anyway, that number is 866-43657, followed by 01, 04, or 07, okay?

"Prime Minister of Plaid" Blake Lewis had a jam moment at home with Sir Mix-A-Lot, before hitting the Idol stage with Robin Thicke's When I Get You Alone. I will begrudgingly admit (as Simon did) that this one actually hit the mark. Risky, and pulled off very well. Now may be time for some Blake superlatives — i.e.,this could actually have been one of his best vocals this season. But is it too little, too late?

Melinda, who just had a street named for her in Nashville ("The Boulevard of Self-Effacement") chose the chestnut I'm A Woman, and wailed on it with all 8 cylinders. One might have been moved to get up and dance, or to whoop & holler. Or…one could do as Paula Abdul did, and simply declare this a "Celebration Of Melinda's Journey." Thank you, Richard Gere. Simon was a little more direct. He made it quite clear that he wants her in the finals — and doesn't she deserve it? Not that she'll win, mind you.

How Can You Mend A Broken Theme? Final 4 Brave The Brothers Gibb

2007-05-08T23:28:00.000-07:00

Justin Timberlake
& Jimmy Fallon
Gibb'in It Up
on SNL

I don't think I've ever heard Barry Gibb's actual speaking voice before — and SNL's Jimmy Fallon got it all wrong in his hilarious impersonation; Gibb does not speak in a choppy falsetto that resembles his singing voice —no, 61-year-old Gibb in fact seems to be channeling Sean Connery. Our guest mentor (as Ryan informed us in the intro) has an amazing resumé as a singer, songwriter, and producer in a career that that spans five decades, beginning with the Bee Gees [Brothers Gibb]. As Idol mentor, Gibb liked the idea of our contestants tackling his songs — at least on paper — but when it came down to actually hearing them, he seemed a bit challenged & mystified by their choices and arrangements. With Amy Grant & Vince Gill in the audience and Paula & Simon in matching white outfits, it promised to be a somewhat interesting night. The inevitable question [and inevitable cheesy pun] is who will be Stayin' Alive this week?!

ROUND 1
Melinda Doolittle kicked off with the 1979 Bee Gee hit Love You Inside & Out, and probably did as well and as much with the song as any singer in the world could do. But Paula Abdul was feeling a little unsatisfied — she was looking for something that wasn't there that she wanted to be there. I felt that Mindy was as solid as ever; but you know, it just gets hard to impress when they are aware that you're already as good as it gets.

I was ready to keep my mind open about last man standing Blake Lewis, newly re-streaked, who scored big last week with a daring beatboxed Bon Jovi remix. What might he pull out of his quasi-hipster sleeve tonight? Barry gave tentative approval to the 'beatbox thang', enough blessing for Blake to suppose he could pull off the Full Falsetto on You Should Be Dancing. The Big Question now morphs from "Can beatboxing be incorporated successfully into a pop recording" to "Should Woody Woodpecker impersonations be introduced into otherwise perfectly good songs, and why? Discuss amongst yourselves. This was not - dare I say it? - the more appealing omni-percussive Blake trifle, but a brave new monotonal stammer-escent sound. The judges rightly called this unsuccessful - Simon went one better and called it "absolutely terrible." Yikes. Was last week a fluke?

Lakisha Jones - I'm not sure which demonstrates worse judgement: choosing to sing Stayin' Alive on American Idol, or coming to the decision "Hey, I think I'll slow this party number down!" Those two mistakes notwithstanding, Kiki actually delivered a pretty solid performance. Randy & Paula were not jumping up and down, and Mr. Cowell was not inclined to seek further suckface — he even called the performance 'scary.' Perhaps what is scaring him is the notion that Lakisha may not get the boot this week. Feel the city breakin', and everybody shakin', we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive!

Jordin Sparks - On behalf of Team Jordin, I would like to say 'thank you' to the show's producers for positioning our Shining Star in the coveted Pimp Spot tonight. But be careful, guys: this smacks a bit of semi-finalist manipulation; some have calculated that tonight was rightfully Lakisha's night to perform last. Alas, Jordin was granted the privilege, and twice, to boot! All politics aside, one can only describe her take on the classic To Love Somebody as Bonechillingly Fabulous. To wit: the man who wrote the song and who has heard hundreds of versions of it in his long lifetime was moved to admit, with sparks in his eye - that he has never heard a better one than Jordin's. I'm down with that, and all 3 judges found this to be the best performance of the evening so far.

ROUND 2
Melinda chose one of the most beautiful Gibb ballads of all time, How Can You Mend A Broken Heart, notably recorded recently by overrated Canadian crooner Michael Bublé. Barry admits to some discomfort with Mindy's chord changes on the song, but ultimately approves, and how could he not? Somewhat amusingly, Melinda was reluctant to include the jinxy original lyric "how can a loser ever win?," and opted to leave it out. She gave the song her best Gladys Knight treatment, with a Mindy spin, of course, and then surprisingly kicked the whole dang mess up to fever pitch about two-thirds through the song, with one of the best amazing endings of all her amazing endings to date.

Blake - I think the song choice — a very obscure one called This Is Where I Came In — is actually the thing to give Lewis the most credit for. It is considered highly unusual to perform non-hits on this program, so I will give him props for this risky choice, which was a halfway decent completely unknown song. Having said that, I will say that he applied his standard [pitchy] Human League treatment, and then added insult to injury by reviving the Woody Woodpecker stutter and adding the Leslie Hunt Psycho-Scat effect. If Blake could only have played the originality card and made it work (as he did last week), I'd give him full credit. Unfortunately, this was another risk that didn't play out in a best case scenario. But will he/could he be the beneficiary of some Chris Richardon (or Phil Stacey) "transfer votes," and survive, in spite of it all? And if he does, will he have the good sense to drop the beatboxing next week?

Lakisha chose to sing Run To Me, and Barry provided some needed vocal coaching for what he considered to be a very challenging song to sing (having 2 key changes). Another respectable performance here, kicked up by a BIG money ending. But is Lakisha, um, medicated, or what? As Paula expressed earlier, about Melinda, I keep waiting for her to really break out of the box, to surprise us — and she just refuses to do it. She is comfortable with hot, but not scalding. Simon thinks she (and Blake) are vulnerable this week, and I must agree. Lakisha, if you come back — remember: try dropping that Xanex after the show next week.

Jordin - Woman In Love, a 1980 hit for Barbra Streisand, was another brilliant choice for Jordy and was beautifully delivered, by a young woman who Barry Gibb predicted will be "one of our greatest recording artists." Barry had clearly fallen under Jordin's spell — his head seemed to be swimming in a rainbow-colored Sparky mist. And why not? She's young (as the judges keep reminding us), she's beautiful, she's lovable, and she sings like an angel…and will only get better. Simon was not so thrilled by this one, but…whatever. American Idol or not, Jordin is here to stay.
How deep is my love?!

Melinda & Jordin are safe.

Bon Jovi Night: Top Six [again] Livin' On A Prayer

2007-05-01T12:11:00.000-07:00

Or then again,
perhaps they
could be…

Antonella " Gone Wild" Barba and Gina Glocksen are in da house! Last week's Idol Gives Back telethon (which we are told raised nearly $70 million for charity) did not eliminate a contestant, so the stakes are high: 2 must go this week. Get out your lighters: it is a night of Bon Jovi music, and I will risk controversy here by admitting that their brand of anthemic formulaic arena rock is not my particular cup of rock n' roll. They were a band for young male wanna-be rockers, a contingent which included the band themselves. This not-so-rootsy subgenre strikes me as a less authentic form, which often approaches a kind of self-parody. Clean-cut family man mentor Jon Bon Jovi is a living testament to the fact, although he took his mentor charge seriously and offered suitable words of wisdom. So… We have established that our contestants had some mediocre material to work with tonight. Who could deal with it? At this point, they're all good — or I should say, they all have their strengths; but who has the right strengths this week? Who will end up…um, dead, or alive?

Phil Stacey used to sing Blaze of Glory into a comb while looking into the mirror. Apparently, Phil can remember combs; but now that he doesn't own one, just how credible can he be? You gotta give him props for finding the cahones to sing these lyrics: "I'm a devil on the run; a six-gun lover; a candle in the wind." It's a Clint Eastwood meets Elton John kinda thing. Paula consolingly offered "this has been a year you'll never forget," while I was thinking "that was three minutes of my life that I'll never get back." Simon said it had no authenticity, you know — like the authenticity of the gunslinger cowboy from New Jersey that wrote the song. Phil is walking the line.

Jordin Sparks told Jon that her mother was a fan [oh, that's gotta make him feel good] and "always put it [Bon Jovi music] in her face." Huh? Not a good way to begin. Even Jon-Jon admitted that Living On A Prayer is an impossibly hard song to sing, but Jordin went with it anyway. Even a sub-par Jordin performance is pretty danged good one, but this was admittedly not her best. The verse has to be sung uncomfortably in the lower register (a little pitchy) to be able to handle the ridiculously high chorus parts. I don't like the song anyway, so it was doubly rough for me. Of all the nights for Sparky to turn in a weak turn, this was not the right one. Her worst mistake: agreeing with the judges that it wasn't her best. Jordin - don't do that. I'm worried for Jordin now — it's way too soon for her to go home. Pardon me while I go vote…

Lakisha Jones, skillfully poured into a skin-tight pair of dark blue jeans, told us she was gonna give us a little sump'n sump'n, with her rendition of This Ain't A Love Song. Randy (who seems to just love everyone and everything lately) said she "blew it out da box." Simon, who has been secretly pulling for a Kiki comeback, said he could kiss her, and so he did. I do think it was a good night for her, and Simon seems really intent on keeping her in. After a just-OK performance last week, I wonder — can she pull off a full recovery, and stay?

Newly unhighlighted brunette Blake Lewis decided to take a risk; to roll the dice; to walk on the edge; to parlay peril, by……um, bringing back the beatboxing(!), on You Give Love A Bad Name. Now, this song is a truly banal piece of crap, so thank God Blake decided to change it up — if he had done the Bon Jovi version he would have been booed off the stage. Performing alongside a lone drummer, Lewis actually delivered a fairly forgivable performance that sort of worked. The judges praised his originality and bravery. Hmm. Is this another one we can't write off yet? When in doubt, change up the hair color and spit into the mic.

Chris Richardson - With Bon Jovi Week approaching, Chris knew he'd have to pull out all the stops, which meant of course amping up his trademark simultaneous squint/eyebrow-arch to new levels. Jon told Chris to "find the blue note" on Wanted Dead Or Alive. A challenge! It was like a Harry Potter episode, with Randy as Neville, Paula as Hermoine, and Simon as Snape. What? You mean it's not all one big blue note? Lame song and worse song choice for Richardson. When this one hit the charts in 1986, I think I was too busy dancing to Prince to notice it. As Simon said "You did about as much as you could do with this [swill]." This could definitely put Richardson in jeopardy tomorrow night.

Melinda Dolittle - Jon's advice to Mindy was to apply a little of that down-home churchiness to Have A Nice Day. Oh, but she took it way beyond church. This performance was a revelation. I was a bit concerned that Melinda would not navigate this genre well…She admitted her discomfort and inexperience with rock, but you would never have known it, what with the amazingly confident way she carried herself onstage, as she blew off the roof. She did not merely cover this Bon Jovi song, she competely owned it. In fact, she performed last because Jon had to run out the door with his tail tucked between his legs after having seen her in rehearsal. This was one of my favorite Doolittle perfomances, which means of course that Randy didn't think so. I agree totally with Simon, who said she was in a different league from all the others tonight.

This week will be impossible to predict. There will be at least one surprise tomorrow night.

And lastly…I have two questions to pose:
1. What exactly does a President of The United States of America have to do to become an unsolicited public relations benefactor of the most popular and widely watched television program in the country?
2. How clueless and morally bankrupt does one have to be to avoid losing sleep over cashing in on such a PR opportunity, especially in the name of a charity event for hungry and needy children which you had nothing to do with?
Mr. Rove, we found nothing charming about this inappropriate and shameless stunt. Thank you.

Top 6 Conspire to Inspire

2007-04-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

Ryan in Africa,
where the
champagne
tastes just like
cherry cola.
C-O-L-A, cola.

Tonight was Night #1 of the long-hyped 2-night fund-raise-a-thon "Idol Gives Back." One can only imagine how many hungry mouths could have been fed if Sanjaya had survived to sing "Man In The Mirror" in a blonde wig this week. U2's Bono was busy off somewhere saving the world on his own and was therefore easily the most invisible guest mentor to date. We learned a lot about world hunger and poverty conditions in the U.S. and Africa; we also learned that balancing a basket of bananas on one's head is something Seacrest is pleased is not in his job description. Favorite comic moment from Simon "in the trenches" — Cowell spoke with a mother-daughter volunteer team at America's Second Harvest; asks mother for a hug, then lunges straight toward the teenage daughter! Our contestants were charged with choosing songs that inspire them, with the presumption that their performances might inspire millions of viewers to give $$$. Whatever inspired the producers to cook up this Idol mega-event, it's a given that it will be hugely successful in raising huge sums of money. By this time next week, American Idol will have saved the world.

Let's visualize whirled peas:
Chris "Nasally is a Singing Style" Richardson chose Eric Clapton's If I Could Change the World, and gave it his dependably above-average twitchy boy-band treatment, with a run-packed money ending. There were a couple of squeaky voice problems along the way, but Richardson pulled off a decent, if not show-stopping opening performance. Randy eloquently opined: "you innit ta winnit." Paula was Proud of him. Yes, even Simon bought Chris this week.

Melinda Doolittle chose Faith Hill's There Will Come a Day. And I have the same problem the judges have — finding new and novel ways to say she was great. The song itself had a bit of a somber feel and is not my inspirational musical cup of tea, but she looked lovely and gave it her usual perfection Mindy Midas Touch. Randy found her to be "so dopey." Um, the feeling is mutual, Randy. Paula reached into her bag of well-worn new age adjectives and pulled out "magical." Simon loved loved loved Melinda.

Resident "hipster" Blake Lewis in a cool blazer with an annoyingly turned up collar [uh…over here, wardrobe mistress!] delivered a performance of John Lennon's Imagine that was one for fans only. Fans of Spandau Ballet, that is. Blake did what he does best — picked a great song. Then he Blaked it, imposing as much one-dimensionalness as he could muster. Simon's critique was on the money, saying that it's tricky to bowl people over with an iconic song that has to be sung quietly — the only strategy you have left is to play the Sincerity Card. In that department, he may have succeeded — but was it enough to keep him in the game? My TV listing for tonight's show said that the theme was "compassion and hope;" indeed, this will be a week of much hope on Blake's part — that he might stay — and that voters will be compassionate.

Lakisha Jones - Unlike last week, the spoiler list of tonight's songs I read earlier today was entirely correct. So was my gut feeling when I read that Lakisha was to perform Fantasia Barrino's I Believe — that it was an unimaginative choice and would not score her any points this week. Uh-huh. Fantasia or no Fantasia, I thought Lakisha was behind the beat for most of the song and even had a few pitch problems. The black evening gown may have kept "the girls" under control this week, but the voice needed some underwire support. She did manage to kick it into high gear briefly, but it was all about song choice — unfortunately a wrong one. Pollyanna Abdul was downright assertively negative about Lakisha's inability to occupy Fantasia's shoes. Ouch! Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

A hatless, tuxedo-jacketed Phil Stacey stuck with his newly adopted country genre — well, in the spirit if not the letter of the genre — by choosing a Garth Brooks song The Change. I thought it got off to a dodgy start, but it actually kicked into a very powerful performance for him, maybe one of his best. A great 'vocal showcase' song selection. Stacey may never be Mr. Personality, but I have to give his vocal talents props once again — and I think he may have bought himself another ticket to Stay-ville. But then, I always manage to get this wrong.

The commerical break debuted a celebrity-studded black and white commercial promoting www.one.org [apparently working in cahoots with Idol Gives Back], "A campaign to make poverty history." We can only hope they can channel some funds towards Benicio del Toro's much needed facial reconstruction surgery.

The buzz about Jordin Sparks' show-stopping closing performance to tonight's show actually began one full week ago, when I heard that she would be closing this show and predictably bringing the house down. The song was You'll Never Walk Alone, a Rogers & Hammerstein standard from the 1945 Broadway show Carousel. This was indeed Sparky's [I'm still trying out the nicknames, okay?] star turn. A vision of loveliness in a gorgeous gray gown, the Sparkinator's vocals and stage presence were simply beyond reproach. Glorious, as Paula said (in a moment of lucidity), with closing money notes that made both her parents and her orthodontist proud. Ironically and amusingly on this magnanimous night, we saw the dollar signs light up in Simon's eyes, as he observed "you could have a hit record with that!" Anyway you count it, it's goosebump-arrific. TEAM JORDIN!

Ryan promises that the next show will feature "the biggest shock ever in Idol history." What? A Ruben & Clay duet of "Ebony & Ivory?"!! A John Stevens James Brown medley? Ryan comes out?

The most vulnerable, based on tonight's performances: Blake & Lakisha.

Comments?

Idol Country: Final 7 In Search of the “Y’all Factor”

2007-04-17T19:39:00.001-07:00

“The Celine Dion of Country Music” is apparently one phrase used to describe Kansas-born Idol mentor Martina McBride. It isn’t clear as to whether that is intended as a compliment, or indeed if Martina is a closet French-Canadian, like Michael Buble. Martina imparted suitable and appropriate words of musical wisdom to our contestants, unabashedly wow’ed by some of them, and diplomatically tolerant of others. Idol Blather recieved an advance spoiler list of the songs to be performed tonight (straight out of “Martina’s camp”) which was 100% wrong, so I was a little thrown off the mark. But, they did get the performance order correct. And not a single contestant wore a cowboy hat (can you believe it?), not even San-tastic-jaya Malakar!

Let’s Roll, Y’all
A hatless Phil Stacey turned in a semi-credible and comfortable cover of Keith Urban’s Black Top, with a hint of twang — once again hitting the notes while failing to shine as much as the stripes on his black Wal-Mart disco shirt. The judges were all in Phil’s court this time, knowing this is likely his week to say buh-bye. Encouraged, Phil boldly proclaimed “this is my genre!” Yes, he really did say that. We, the record-buying public are now so very confused. Mr. Urban may not be losing any sleep over this declaration. Idol trivia: If Phil lands in the bottom 3 this week, he will hold the record for consecutive bottom 3 stints, surpassing Nicki McKibbon from Season One & Anthony Federov from Season Four.

Jordin Sparks - The Sparkster’s risky decision to cover our Guest Mentor's hit Broken Wing had immediate payoff when Martina herself was blown away and called Jordin “awesome.” This was simply another gorgeous performance by gorgeous Jordin, a fact well recognized tonight by all 3 judges. My only complaint is - what took them so long to join Team Jordin? Simon has officially signed on to the Team — so much so that he has granted her His permission to be the next American Idol. Thanks, Simon. Go, Jordin.

Sanjaya Malakar - I long ago outgrew the intense desire for Basmati Boy’s demise, opting to sit back and enjoy the sideshow. This week, however, even the sideshow sucked. This one exceeded my ability to extract benefit-of-the-doubt or so-bad-it’s-goodness from thin air. And thin it was. Sporting a doo-rag in "Barbi Benton on HeeHaw" style, Sanjaya warbled a painfully shaky Something To Talk About. And, do I need to it point out?…Bonnie Raitt is not a country artist and the song does not belong in the genre, period, even by the broadest definitions of Country. Anyway, tonight was Simon’s night to draw a line in the sand and say "Enough, America! I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!" But will America come around?

Lakisha Jones - Oddly, I was really feeling Kiki’s rendition of Jesus, Take the Wheel, perhaps because it represented a welcome step outside her comfort zone. Slightly pitchy, maybe; but heartfelt and strong. The judges definitely did not feel the same. Simon thought this was like a breakfast hamburger, which is something that actually sounded tasty to Lakisha, but is not as serious a problem as chalk & cheese, I'm guessing. He still loves her, though — he just wants the old-skool soul belter back. Note to producers: this is the kind of mess you bring on yourself with this wacko theme-o-rama crap.

Chris Richardson - There have been some ill-advised song choices by some contestants this week, and in fact for the entire season; but this one (Rascal Flatts’ Mayberry) was wrong for the wrong reasons. It’s just a really, really, really bad song, lyrically & musically. Even if Ryan Seacrest sang it, there would be nothing redeeming about it. And to add insult to injury, CR struggled with this piece of hootananny hooey, resulting in a great big sonic mess, all while attempting to bust his Timberlake moves to the beat of a banjo, y'all. Simon contributed a Cowellism for the books by calling it “completely and utterly insignificant” — ya gotta love that. Paula eloquently recognized that “the love and joy didn’t come through.” And when Paula is not feelin' the love, there's a problem, even if "nasaly is a singing style," as Richardson insisted. Is there another bottom 3 in Richardson’s future?

Melinda Doolittle - I have to admit, the spectacularly consistant and brilliant Ms. Doolittle can sometimes nearly bore me for just that reason. I think that’s why I thought her Trouble Is A Woman so refreshing — it was a nice departure, and an excellent song choice (proving that we don’t have to know the song to enjoy it). Simon came right out and voiced what America has been saying for weeks ‘round the water cooler — that Mindy needs to lose the “What? You really like me?” face. She has effectively mortared another brick in the Finale Wall tonight.

Blake Lewis - Lewis was so noticably unnerved by having to take on this genre that I almost felt a bit sorry for him. Indeed, he may be the first person to ever sing a country song in an argyle sweater vest. One of Blake’s assets is his acute ability to choose just the right song to suit his particular, uh, talents. In his hands, Tim McGraw’s Whenever The Stars Go Blue (like many of Blake’s perfomances) took on sort of an eighties Brit vibe. And that’s not entirely a bad, nor especially country thing. The negative here is that the chorus depended heavily on a strong falsetto delivery, to which Lewis gave a washed-out Malakaresque treatment. As Simon said, I’m not jumping out of my chair." But I will give Blake an ‘A’ for effort, and a few points for making something so alien to him his own. Yikes, think I may have actually halfway enjoyed this one, against all odds.

Despite a valiant effort tonight, I'm thinking Phil Stacey will be hittin' the road this week.

Top 8 Take Stretch Turn, as J.Lo Brings Up the Rear

2007-04-10T23:21:00.000-07:00

Jenny from
the block,
on the eight

Bona fide superstar, movie star, singer, dancer and all-'round cottage industry Jennifer Lopez was guest mentor to our remaining eight on "Latin Night." Last week Gina Glocksen valiantly attempted to tow the theme line and lost out, later commenting that "it's hard to rock out Tony Bennett." And so it is with American Idol's tradition of the gauntlet of Random Weekly Themes. Fortunately, the contestants are allowed to pussyfoot around the theme — and in this case choose to sing any song that ever featured bongos, timbales or a cowbell. In our opening sequence, they sat in a circle on the floor and gazed up lovingly at J.Lo (sitting comfortably on a stool above them) — first grade storytelling-time style.

Ahora cante!
Melinda Dolittle - Mindy looked pretty tonight, but says she didn't feel sexy enough to do this Latin thing. She chose a lounge chestnut Sway, a song perhaps best remembered from Dean Martin's cheesy version (if you're old enough) — retro Latin pop. For Melinda, this was another performance in which she appeared completely comfortable and relaxed on stage (smooth & sultry, as Paula said). Although this couldn't really be faulted, Simon managed to do so anyway, pulling out the dreaded C word [cabaret], and calling the performance lazy & wooden. This, of course, was completely wack commentary. Mindy cheerily got in the last word when admitting being pleased that Simon finally got to say something mean about her.

Lakisha Jones - Uh, did she just say her daughter's name is Freon? Anyway, Kiki also looked pretty and was on the mark with her cover of the Gloria Estafan hit Conga. I did agree with Paula and Simon who said it was not a singer's song — not a vocal showcase — and that this one was on the 'playing it safe' side. Could Ms. Jones be at risk this week?

Chris Richardson - Smooth is a pretty cool song from Carlos Santana's 1999 album "Supernatural" [sung by Rob Thomas], and it was a good choice for Richardson. J.Lo coached Chris on the best key and helped with some Spanish pronounciation. I can't fault the vocal much, but I still felt a certain something missing from the performance — it almost seemed as if the song was bigger than him and he was struggling to keep a handle on it. I'll have to hand this critique over to our articulate judges:
Randy: Yo, baby. Check it out, dog. Very cool, dog.
Paula: Hot. H-h-hot performance. Sexy. [drools]
Simon: Not the best vocal, but better than the first two.

Haley Scarnato - With our judges having long abandoned any attempts at objectivity with this girl, I feel it is my duty to try to judge fairly this week, as boring as that may be. Well, OK, then. I think one could have predicted Haley's song choice Turn The Beat Around, the ridiculously over-covered Estafan Latin bubblegum pop megahit. Once we move past that, we notice the legs. The legs sound pretty good this week, they are on pitch and are very smooth and move around the stage well, often bending at the knee. They sounded a bit less pageant-y this week, and even slightly transcended cruise-shipness. I give the legs a B+. I definitely felt good about them this week. But alas, once again the judge pre-game huddle determined that this girl must be taken down, legs & all — Simon was unneccessarily cruel again, saying "you can't do well as a singer here." This tactic backfired a few weeks ago, when sympathy votes sparked a comeback trend for Haley. Like her or not, she has some sort of staying power voodoo. I'm thinking she stores it in those heels.

Phil Stacey - I think Phil may have done what he needed to do to survive this week. He made a fine song selection with Maria, Maria, raised the coolness factor, and lowered the creepiness factor. Funny how a well-chosen hat, a funky acoustic guitar, a smooth delivery and big money ending can help remind me what I have liked about Phil in the past. The great tonal quality was back [even enough to give J.Lo goose pimples]. But does he have the kind of star quality to take him all the way? Nope. Will he end up in the bottom 3 again? Probably.
Randy was at his clueless best: "Aw-ight, so check it. You know what? I didn't… I mean, it was…but then you…Still, toward the end, you…But…er, uh… I dunno. Uh, what did you think, Paula? Paula took a more Hemingway-esque approach: "Your vocal was real good." Simon wants us to know that he knows Phil is a nice guy, but he is ready to ship him back to Iraq, or Salt Lake City, or wherever he was stationed.

Jordin Sparks - Jordin's smooth voice reminded J.Lo of Michael Jackson. Personally, I think it was the song The Rhythm's Gonna Get You that brought that MJ vibe, but Jordin should be happy for the compliment. Looking appropriately Hispanic tonight with her straight-mode hair, Jordin brought everything to the party that she always does -- the great voice, the energy, the personality, the stage presence. Clueless Jackson reminded us of Jordin's age again. Oh, really, Randy? Is she really 17? Does he get royalty checks from Seventeen magazine every time he says it? Otherwise, I see no reason to mention her age ever again. My money is still on Ms. Sparks.

Blake Lewis - J.Lo told Blake that if he's determined to attempt one of her husband's songs (I Need To Know), then he need to forgot about frickin' Marc Anthony and concentrate on the passion in the song. It appeared that Blake humbly took the advice to heart, because he delivered a real vocal this week, perhaps his best of the season — albeit a xerox of Anthony's version. All three judges agree that the choice of song was brilliant, and we were all suitably pleased with the performance, too. Surprisingly good. Blake may really bring up his numbers this week.

Sanjaya Malakar [& His Universe] was granted the coveted show-closing Pimp Spot tonight. And like Mindy-Doo, the goateed Sanjaya chose a cheesy chestnut - a retro Latin pop standard Besame Mucho. A couple of things about this performance made a more positive impression than all the previous ones — it was sung with a little more muscle that usual, and he managed to sing much of it in Spanish. One almost got the impression that the boy was actually trying to raise his game. Visually, Sanjaya could have even passed as Hispanic, so like it or not, this performance could endear him to a whole new American demographic [Ay, caramba!]. Ryan sarcastically described Sanjaya before the commercial as "the embodiment of Latin passion" — but I don't think this kid is ready to be laughed off the show just yet.

Final 9 Meet 80-Year-Old Dude; Party Like It's 1949

2007-04-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

Antonio,
back in the day

Tony Bennett has deservedly received every available accolade the music business has to give in his long and legendary career. On this week's show his role was more muse than coach, 'the old dude's' advice often going ignored by the contestants. Ironically, it was an opportunity for our judges to overutilize their favorite adjectives of late: "young," "hip" and "cool" …and for our contestants to see what they could make of the decidedly Old Skool "Great American Songbook."

Set 'em up, Joe:
Blake Lewis: As always, Blake showed good song selection judgement with "Mack The Knife," which was conceived as a "murder ballad" (in German) by Kurt Weill in 1928. The song was jazzed up by Louis Armstrong in 1954; and the definitive swing version was introduced by Bobby Darin five years later. So, this is actually quite a dark song from a lyrical standpoint, but Darin injected it with so much finger-poppin' ring-a-ding swing, it has an inherent coolness factor today which even the likes of Blake Lewis can't completely dispel. But did his delivery hold a candle to the Darin gold standard? Uh, not even close. It was light & airy when it should have been sinewy, and was very pitchy to boot. The judges are are still lapping Lewis up, though Simon showed some reservations. Paula told him that he personified pizazz, giving her the distinction of being the first person to use the word "pizazz" in the last 20 years, outside of the Food Network. She also called him a "hip cat," an interesting compliment from someone whose last hit was in 1991.

Phil Stacey: This guy needed to avoid another ticket to the Bottom 3, and he has not managed it — with a sleep-inducing and gloomy (as Cowell said) rendition of "Night and Day." Phil ignored Tony's advice to sing it with a snappy beat, and instead chose to undersing it completely, with a weirdly affected tone that I've never heard from him before. Simon called it 'slightly dark,' then 'really dark.' They're ready for him to go, and I guess I won't complain when he does.

Melinda Doolittle: I really liked the flat-ironed hair — a much-needed younger look for Mindy-Doo. I initially thought "I Got Rhythm" was going to be a boring choice, and was sure of it when I heard the ballady intro. But Mindy quickly kicked up several notches, right on into her standard, irreproachable mode. Thank God someone finally told her to drop the "I can't believe you really like me!" facial expression when the judges are speaking. She's as solid and finale-bound as ever. Simon was admittedly a little bugged that she is frustratingly perfect.

Chris Richardson: I prefer to concentrate on truly subjective vocal critiques, which is why the expression "cocky little SOB" will not even enter into this review. Chris chose a great Duke Ellington tune, "Don't Get Around Much Anymore," and did it justice. The lower register notes at the beginning were a bit dodgy, but overall it was a very good performance — although the judges were somewhat overenthusiastic about it, in my opinion.

Jordin Sparks: With "On A Clear Day," Jordin once again delivered — not sang, but delivered — and still has the WOW factor for me. The song is from the mid-60s, so it wasn't exactly what I would call a Great American Standard, but she did it proud and nailed the big money ending. And by the way, where was Randy's criticism that one should never attempt to sing a Barbra Streisand song? Instead, it was "heat, fire, hot, da bomb, conflagration, inferno, etc." Paula: You're hip! You're cool! You're a magnet of joy!" Simon was weirdly stand-offish about giving my home girl her deserved props. But…Jordin Sparks will not be denied!

Gina Glocksen: Reserved Rocker Chick Gina really won me over last week. Tonight she made another brilliant choice with "Smile," and to seal the deal, delivered a pretty spot-on rendition. I was impressed by what was essentially a master class in singing. Did you miss the screaming rock 'n roller this week? Simon did — he doesn't know how to market this ballady Gina. So Simon's big diss of Glocksen really rang false — he just wants his rocker chick to return. Calm down, everyone: she'll be back. Paula was remarkably lucid, rightly calling Gina's performance "flawless," and "understated."

Sanjaya Malakar: I was all prepared to discuss the great Paradigm Shift that occurred last week, when Sanjaya the Sensation hi-jacked American Idol, and became bigger than Ryan Seacrest. I was going to say that we need to rethink the whole game — that perhaps there is room for everyone — and that there is a place for untalented singers who have show-biz accumen. Why, look at Madonna, for God's sake. There was even a tiny perverted spot in my brain that wished he would do incredibly well tonight, allowing that to be the Confoundance of The Week. But — ALAS — My Little Pony Boy tossed that whole discussion to the wind tonight with a truly abysmal performance — his worst to date. And need I tell you how BIG a declaration that is? In the pre-show huddle, our judges decided to refrain from any direct commentary on the vocal presentation. Whatever. With a little Clive Davis studio magic, could this dubious Sensation From Hell make chartable records (Mr. Cowell keeps asking himself)? Or is he just an Indian-Italian-American William Hung with fans? Stay tuned. He'll be back, I think. With blonde hair.

Haley Scarnato: Haley ignored Tony's suggestion, and in her rendition of Fats Waller's "Ain't Misbehavin" sang "saving my love for you, and you," preferring the more egalatarian [or perhaps slutty] approach to love. Well, the vocal was much better than Sanjaya's, and most importantly, Haley once again chose to stategically spotlight her physical assets [yes, we noticed]. The vocal wasn't terrible, really, and her eyelash batting was very rhythmic. Bizarrely, Randy & Paula completely refused to comment and passed it Simon — who called it "pageant-y." Her fate is still difficult to predict at this point, but perhaps she can do something about world hunger.

Lakisha Jones: Kiki began "Stormy Weather" in a strange, affected voice; and (admit it, people) she was extremely pitchy, for the first time I can recall. Like the others, she ignored Tony's advice, and kept in the "Ain't No Sunshine When He's Gone" tag at the end. She did salvage the song somewhere along the way, and ended very strong. Still, the judges way overpraised — they are determined to keep her in this game.

This week gives me few gut feelings as to the bottom three — it's really a tough call. I will only say that Phil is the #1 contender to go.

Idol Pinch #3

2007-03-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

Never underestimate the hula girl voting bloc.

Idol Pinch #2

2007-03-31T12:24:00.000-07:00

Top 3 Contestant Name Anagrams!
[Another Blather exclusive]

[click on image to enlarge]

Bonus Anagrams:
Ryan Seacrest = scary earnest; carny teasers; ass entry race; yearns/reacts
Randy Jackson = darns any jock
Paula Abdul = bad luau lap
Simon Cowell = mellow scion; now ills come; scowl 'em lion

No Doubt About Some of the Top 10

2007-03-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

Tonight's guest muse was a softer, prettier, somehow younger-looking Gwen Stefani, who rocketed to fame in the 90s with California ska/pop band No Doubt. Gwen didn't mince words about each contestant's vocal abilities, favoring Lakisha & Melinda, and to a lesser extent, Phil and Jordin. The theme was Gwen Stefani Hits And Uh, Related Stuff. Our remaining 10 have secured themselves a spot on the upcoming summer tour, but some still face a doubtful seat on the Season 6 bus ride to the finale. [Contestant kid photos courtesy of Fox TV]

The good, the bad and the doubtful:
Lakisha Jones: Kiki brought back her big game with Donna Summer's disco hit "Let's Dance" — not a favorite of mine, but an excellent choice for her voice. Another strong performance reminds us that it's still too early to count her out of this competition. A good comeback.

Chris Sligh: With his hands-down worst performance of the season, Chris attempted The Police's classic "Every Little Thing She Does," which Simon succinctly described as "a mess." This was really just an all-around bad performance. Good song; bad song choice. No magic here. Still, I have a gut feeling that his best is yet to come; so I'd like to see him survive this week and have a chance to make up for this.

Gina Glocksen: Again, Simon said it best, as he summed up Gina's performance of The Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You" as her best of the season. It was fervent, controlled, and actually very enjoyable. She demonstrated that you can rock a ballad. Vulnerabilty was the new element that did it for me. Excellent song choice. Simon thought her transformation from 3 weeks ago to today was "like chalk and cheese," which left even Englishmen scratching their heads.

A quick glimpse of Sanjaya's new hair-do is followed by a quicker close-up of Ryan crossing his eyes. Cut to commercial!

Sanjaya "Pebbles Flintstone" Malakar - Sporting a very fashiony-ish faux-hawk, Sanjaya — who is (with the exception of Melinda Dolittle) our most formidably consistent contestant — saw fit to tackle No Doubt's "Bathwater," a song with the bold lyrical message "I still love to wash in your bathwater," which somehow formed a much more pleasant mental image when Ms. Stefani sang it. The myriad of other problems aside, Sanjaya had a lyric-lapse moment, which our judges chose not to point out, opting to pick their battles. This catchy ditty raises the question: how long has the object of his affection been gone, and just how old is the water in question? I believe it is finally time to throw the Bengali out with the bathwater. I suspect Howard Stern may have been soaking in that stuff.

Haley Scarnato-Newton-John: Haley chose one of Gwen's favorites, Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" which as it turns out, was just the right song to expose Haley's true colors as a vocalist. She was reaching for 'soft and expressive,' and only managed 'wimpy and bland.' This may be my last chance to spell "Haley" correctly in the blog [for the first time], so there you go. Where are those halter tops when you really need them?

Phil Stacey: Stefani was pleasantly surprised by Phil, which I think was a nice way of saying she expected him to suck. Phil indeed has the chops to sing a song like "Every Breath You Take," and sing it well. My problem with it is that is was a note-for-note cover of Sting's vocal arrangement and phrasing — a spot-on copycat performance —albeit a very good one. It does remind me that Phil is a vocal talent to be reckoned with, but this wasn't so special for me. I liked the hat, however.

Melinda Doolittle: As usual, Melinda applied her heart and soul to "Heaven Knows," with a totally invested performance that demonstrated again that she is already a star. Ms. Stefani could almost not conjure enough complimentary words for Mindy-Doo… "She blew me away." "Mind-blowing." "Beautiful." "Her voice is crazy." The ever-articulate Randy Jackson was equally eloquent: "Yo. That was dope. You da bomb." Simon still loves Mindy, but could not surpress his inner Fashionista, and had to diss the outfit.

Blake Lewis: I'm going to offend some Cure fans out there (a band known for leader Robert Smith's ability to weep & sing at the same time), but "Love Song" is just plain mediocre, and so was Blake's perfomance. At best, Blake's tenor is like a less muscular version of Sting's, and at worse is soporific and off-pitch. I woke up just in time to hear Paula say that she was wowed by his hipness and coolness, and called him a "dark horse." I am shocked and awed that Cowell called him the "strongest guy in the competition," especially after tonight. Politics are at work here! Am I missing something?

Jordin Sparks: Gwen agrees with me that Jordin is cute and refreshing, and Jord didn't fail to deliver both qualities with a rather risky cover of No Doubt's "Hey Baby," which [by virtue of its 2001 debut] was officially the most contemporary song done on the show tonight. I wasn't so down with the tablecloth blouse, but everything else about it was very cute and refreshing. Sparks is flying, yo!

Chris Richardson: Ms. Stefani was not such a fan of Lil' Justin's "vocal olympics" and thought he needed to focus more on the emotion and the song; so it may have been risky for him to tackle No Doubt's "Don't Speak." I can't fault the peformance too much, except that I have a nagging personal problem with this guy. What is it he keeps cocking his head to sneak a look at?… to the left! to the right! when he should be just, er, singing. Paula waxed eloquent: "You're good…just good." Simon claimed to not like the vocal; is he trying to take Chris down & pump Blake up?

Who is vulnerable? Haley. Who should be? Pebbles Malakar. Surprise bottom 3 member of the week: Chris Sligh [but he stays].

Summer Tour Calls, As Top 11 Find Their 60s Mojo's

2007-03-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

6os icons Peter "Herman" Noone and Lulu ("To Sir With Love") usher in British Invasion week, celebrating a musical period that is somewhat close to my heart. It was an era of fresh and original hooky rock/pop, offering much ripe material for our contestant's plucking. And pluck they did. Peter Noone was actually quite a musical lightweight in his day but was a servicable coach; on the other hand, Lulu was perhaps one of the best real vocal coaches I've ever seen on this show. Lulu was sort of a Joss Stone — an unusually soulful white singer for that period — whose voice belied her wee Scot appearance. Despite our contestants' obvious distance from the Sixties, they all seemed fairly comfortable with their song choices.

Hayley Scarnato - Hayley apparently read my blog last week and decided to show even more skin this week (perhaps more than any contestant in the history of the show), including her entire back. One wonders…where did she hide the mic transmitter? To the performance — she chose an excellent and very infectuous song ("Tell Him"), which was half the battle — and sang it pretty nicely, although I admit that my eye was not so much on her vocals. Like Hayley or not, all that haltered shimmy-shaking is sure to ensure her a spot on the summer tour.

Chris "Timber-Lite" Richardson - As much as I really want to dislike this guy, he chose a favorite song of mine ("Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying"), and nailed it completely. As Simon said, this performance showed amazing vocal control, and the ending falsetto note was spot-on. And, this was his best performance of the season so far. But I'm still not sold…

Stephanie Edwards - In my humble opinion, Steph has been on a downhill spiral. Once a front-runner, she seems to have misplaced her musical mojo. This Dusty Springfield anthemic ballad ("You Don't Have To Say You Love Me") was big, dramatic, and boring; so I think, not such a good choice. I think she is bottom-three bound, and perhaps homeward bound.

Blake Lewis - When The Zombies released their 1968 album Odessey [sic] and Oracle, it was critically hailed as a minor masterpiece and compared with the Beach Boys' "Pet Sounds" and The Beatles' "Sergeant Pepper" as an innovative instant classic. Keyboardist Rod Argent's psychedelic jazz-tinged pop was edgy and somewhat ahead of its time, and the single from that album "Time of The Season" is one of those rare old songs that still sounds very contemporary today. I don't mean to take anything away from Blake's extremely mediocre performance, but I disagree 100% with all 3 judges. Blake sang the song somewhat in tune, but it was completely karaoke — he brought nothing new to it. Go now, and listen to the original; you'll see. Sorry, Blake fans.

Lakisha Jones - Another front-runner with mojo issues! When it was announced that Kiki would do "Diamonds Are Forever," my heart sunk. Despite being a hallowed Bond theme, in the final analysis it is a very mediocre ballad — not to mention that Shirley Bassey (who originally recorded it) is a soul-less cabaret singer who deservedly never hit it big in the U.S. What on earth possessed Lakisha to choose this piece of claptrap? There were even pitchy moments (and a few good moments), but this was her worst so far.

Phil "Nosferatu" Stacey - "Tobacco Road" is a cool song. And ultimately, I don't think Phil is really cool enough to sing it. Anyway, I think it was a wrong choice, he was trying too hard, and the arrangement was way too fast. He should have done it as a slow burn, like "Time of the Season," slow & sexy. Simon says he may have a problem tomorrow…

Jordin Sparks - Judges: get over her age, PLEASE. Start telling the world she is a contender, dammit! "I Who Have Nothing" was sung brilliantly, from the heart, with nuance & passion — performed to WIN this frickin' shooting match. This was perhaps my favorite performance of the season, by anyone! Jordan is bound for the final 3. Yes, a 17-year-old can win this competition.

Simon sneers at Peter Noone when he calls himself a 'positive chap' and says that all the negative Brits have moved over here.

Sanjaya Malakar - If The Kinks' Ray Davies were not alive and well, he would certainly be spinning in his grave tonight. Uni-gloved Sanjaya attempted to 'rock out' with the classic "You Really Got Me," which was considered nearly heavy-metal for its time. A ridiculous performance on so many levels; but, on the other hand, due to the fact that he allowed himself to connect with his throat (above a whisper), one could call this his best [ugh] performance so far. I'm a bit concerned that the Hallmark moment with the weepy pig-tailed teeny-bopper is going to help put the boy on the summer tour. Ouch!

Gina Glocksen - In her pre-song chat, Gina all but admitted that she reads Idol Blather, mentioning certain blog critiques that make it hard for her to be the self-parodying "rocker" that she is. Tonight, Central Casting sent in a red-streaked-black-haired shredded-black-top black-jeaned black-booted dog-chained, tattooed, tongue-studded tough chick wishing to "Paint It Black." Okay, Gina, we get it. You're a bad rocker chick, uh-huh. From the Rolling Stones' rich & massive catalog of insanely great rock songs, Gina chose the most unmelodic, mono-tonal plodder of them all, and didn't really nail it, either. Still, she'll be on the tour. Smiling, congenial Gina is the sunniest example of this archetype I have ever seen — what's with that? The perky punky girl-next-door.

Chris Sligh - Another great Zombies song is brought to to the table tonight with Sligh's fine choice, 1964's "She's Not There" — a song that is so inherently great, you almost can't fail with it. Sligh's voice is (for better or worse) reminiscent of Elton John's, and is not technically among the best in the group, but he worked the house, and brought it enough tonight to ensure his place in the final 10.

Melinda Doolittle occupied what some call the coveted "pimp spot" [last] on the show, and chose the ballad "As Long As He Needs Me" from the Broadway show "Oliver," and once again did not fail to deliver. Of all the contestants, I have to say that Melinda's voice has the most natural quality; she has the most instinctive voice — one that brings something new to the table with every performance, surprising you each time. The judges were unusually articulate and accurate in their comments, so I'll try to quote them as best as I can:
Randy: We have chosen the best for last. Stunning. You are a pro.
Paula: Your singing is not forced, it just is. And…it's beautiful.
Simon: Are you as nice as you seem? You made the 2nd part of the song sensational, with an impeccable vocal.
Chadboulet: Not too shabby.

Bottom 3 this week? Stephanie, Phil, and …Sanjaya?

Brave New World: 6 Boys + 6 GIrls = Endless Flub

2007-03-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

The
Supreme
Diva,
back in
the day

(photo courtesy of
www.bbc.co.uk)

LAST WEEK: Years from now, American Idol historians will recall Thursday, March 8 of Season 6, which marked the night that certain slang terms officially entered our lexicon. The verb "scarnato," as in the phrase "she was scarnato'ed," meaning "to be irrationally and unnaturally perpetuated," or "the Malakar Effect" — meaning "to survive and prosper from a state of chronic suckiness."

TONIGHT: Bigger stage, band and audience! Bigger hair & wardrobe makeover budget! The show began with an embarrassing amount of Idol self-horn-blowing: Look at all the stars we've launched — and here are the judges who discovered all this talent! An unabashed one-two punch to J-Hud. Score!

The last 12 Boys & Girls form one contestant batch tonight, coached by the first guest mentor of Season 6 — and need we point out the rich irony here? Idol alumnus Jennifer Hudson recently became a mega-star by portraying a character based on a singer widely recognized to be much more talented than the Diana Ross character in the same movie. And tonight we welcome as our vocal coach the real-life Dreamgirl, Ms. Ross, of Motown's legendary Supremes. To give due credit, Diana was a pretty decent mentor. Or maybe it's just that I expected her to be a great big bee-yotch.

Now let's reach out & touch our contestants:
Brandon Rogers - This was Brandon's big chance to break that maddening underachievement pattern, something he may or may not have attempted with "You Can't Hurry Love." A lyrical "oops" was not his worse problem. It all just wasn't good enough. This is the kind of thing that keeps bringing the Kurry Kid back. I give up.

Continuing her reputation as The Girl Who Can Do No Wrong, Melinda Doolittle sang "Home" from The Wiz, which had all the trappings of a Whitney power anthem, minus the negative comparisons from The Dawg. Mindy-Doo & all 3 judges were in tears by the end (although Simon shook it off and make it appear that he was laughing). Yes, he did. And Melinda reminds him of a young Gladys Knight. Simon's been reading my blog again!

Chris Sligh - I don't agree with the judges' opinion that Chris murdered "Endless Love" — to me, he followed their perennial advice and made it his own. Really, it wasn't all that different from the original, so what's the big deal? And the vocals were spot on. His noticable arrogance grated on me tonight, and without glasses he bore a striking resemblance to comic strip character Nancy. Is his evil plot to take the crown working? He may want to try the blue hair bow next week.

Gina Glocksen put in a very solid performance on The Supremes' anthem to illegitimacy "Love Child." The judges didn't love, but I didn't hate, and that's an improvement as far as I'm concerned.

Newly-coiffured Sanjaya Malakar whispered the bloody hell out of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," apparently doing the version he sings to his pet kitten, who is probably equally annoyed by it. Randy almost walked off the stage, Paula didn't feel his heart, and Simon couldn't even manage to conjure up a good British diss like "ghastly," although he wanted to say "it was a bit like that stray clove in the chicken marsala that gets stuck between your teeth."

Hayley Scarnato ever-so-wisely chose to tear a page from the Katharine McPhee playbook, deciding that tonight was the night to play the Cleavage Card. She did look fantastic, and the strategy worked. Despite an off-pitch sleep-inducing performance and the second lyric lapse of the night, Simon was sitting up straight. He had an epiphany — something like: "Whoa! Hayley's a babe! Why haven't I noticed this before? We can't let her go home this week!" And so, he was ever-so-kind to her.

Ryan's Nana is in da house!

Phil Stacey sang an old fave of mine "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me." The judges & I agree that Phil has a fine voice. And therein lies the problem. One is more inclined to say "Phil has a fine voice," rather than "Damn! That was hot!" Phil strikes me more as your insurance agent type than the American Idol. The notes were in place, but the performance was a bit vanilla. I can't get too excited. But hang on there, Phil — I may need a Term Policy.

Lakisha Jones toned things down this week with an arrangement of "God Bless The Child" that owes more to the original Billie Holiday version than Diana's. Still, she ultimately made it her own, in her usual impressive fashion. Still, I remember Fantasia blowing me away with this one, and KiKi's was just a tiny bit on the 'safe' side.

Blake Lewis - Such a fuss was made about the fact that Blake decided to put a "more electric vibe" on "You Keep Me Hangin' On," and to bring it into the 21st century. Was I the only one who noticed that the vocal arrangement and phrasing was verbatim to the original? There was really not much new about this, other than the keyboard sound and the slightly modified beat. And, the vocal was his weakest so far. As Simon said "I didn't get that, but you'll be fine."

Stephanie Edwards chose to sing Diana's disco hit "Love Hangover." No one pointed it out, but as with last week, Stephanie stayed a half-beat behind the music throughout the entire song — and that really bugs me. What bugged the judges is that she never got to the "good part," and that she was the third contestant to forget the words tonight. She is looking a bit vulnerable.

Chris Richardson chose to sing "The Boss," which I was not familiar with. Timberlake comparisons notwithstanding, Chris is one of the more impressive vocalists when it comes to bustin' the runs and such; and of all the guys, is the overall best at commanding the stage. Still, I agree with Mr. Cowell that without the charming visuals, the vocal itself falls a little flat.

Jordin Sparks - I have championed this girl from Day One, even as the judges routinely dismissed her. She has come into her own now, and I guess they are beginning to see things my way. Jordin chose the not-so-well-known "If We Hold On Together," a sappy ballad which she managed to inject a lot of life into. One small reservation: a little heavy on the vibrato at times. She looked fabulous, she sounded great, and she is sure to be back, by golly.

Who will go? I will only say that I am praying to Krishna tonight.

Sundance Speaks: There's A Diva In The House

2007-03-10T19:22:00.000-08:00

Last Friday morning, Sundance Head went on Ryan Seacrest's LA morning radio show to talk about his elimination. He admits that he's a little bitter and angry after getting the boot, but that's not all. Here's a short excerpt from the interview, in which he hints that there is a cocky contestant in the bunch:
Ryan: Is there anybody who thinks they've won this competition?
Sundance: There is.
Ryan: Is it a he or a she?
Sundance: I can say it's a he.
Ryan: He thinks he's the winner.
Sundance: I'm sure of it!
Ryan: Did he say it in front of everyone?
Sundance: Yeah. In a ways, yeah.
Ryan: When?
Sundance: All the time.

There it is, straight from the Head's mouth. So the question is, which guy is Sundance referring to? Perhaps Blake, or one of the two Chris'es. Now that I think about it, both seem a little too sure of themselves.

Idol Pinch #1

2007-03-09T07:28:00.000-08:00

The infamous
Hawaiian
Dance of Terror

Talent + Nerves = Top 8 Girls On Top

2007-03-07T19:39:00.000-08:00

Neo-Brit Ryan Seacrest began the show by announcing that "Pole-uh has gone missing!" He then told us that the remaining 8 girls would "pull out all the stops tonight." Photos have shown that one of them has already removed all the stops, so it may be an easier task for her. As with last night's Boy Show, the girls revealed little gems of inside information about themselves. And Randy attempted to introduce a new phrase to his rich lexicon: "The Yo Factor." No one did the hula. Nerves noticably handicapped the girls. And was it me, or were the background singers much too loud throughout the show?

Jordin Sparks - Jordin was a football player? OMG. Well, I'll be darned. Lovable Jordan chose to sing Pat Bentar's "Heartbreaker" — never a big favorite of mine, but she did it proud enough. It was a good kick-off (pun intended) for the show — very high energy; a good vocal and on pitch. The money note was very impressive. Jordin may be a bit outclassed in this competition, but she deserves to travel far. Simon wasn't completely wowed, but he put his official stamp of approval on the performance by giving her a YWR ["you will return"] prediction.

Sabrina Sloan - Back in the day, Sabrina was a bit of a junior journalist. Okay; and now, back to our show. Sabrina has always made a respectable showing as a singer and stage performer throughout this season. So I can't find much fault here on her cover of "Don't Let Go." But I'm going to have to 'pull a Simon' and comment on her appearance. There is a certain…how should I say it?… hooker-esque quality about Sabrina's self-presentation. The over-permed hair, the make-up, the nails, the dress, the shoes — I dunno. Will someone please just call "What Not To Wear" before she gets sent home?

Former violinist Antonella Barba wrapped her super-hero jaw around Corrine Bailey Rae's infectuous "Put Your Records On," injecting it with her own unique brand of clueless Jersey plastic snootiness. She was apparently hoping to soften herself from a "girl gone wild" to a "girl gone mild." Rae is a sweet, sincere, earthy, one-of-a-kind artist — in short, Barbarella's absolute antithesis. So, kudos for good taste in song selection, but don't even try to co-opt that persona, girlfriend. AND… as Paula accurately pointed out, Barba was hopelessly pitchy in her lower register, and was able to make a decent showing when she was belting the higher notes. Simon informed her that she had gone about as far as she can go. YES! Note to Ant: tossing all that 'tude at Simon may impress your girlfriends back home, but will not help you here.

Haley Scarnato used to be into gymnastics. Oo — is it too late to go back? Looking like a cross between Marie Osmond and Laci Peterson, Haley delivered a very perky cover of Faith Hill's sugary "If My Heart Had Wings." Where was the surgeon general's warning for diabetics? This was arch-vanilla treacle, although she sang the treacle very nicely. Simon doesn't know her name. Now… who will be the other girl to leave this week?

Stephanie Edwards revealed that she has always loved to sing, but used to be shy. Awwww. Stephanie chose a favorite song of mine, Rufus' [Chaka Khan's] "Sweet Thing." While there's no doubt about her vocal ability or her stage performance skills, I have to agree with Paula again — Stephanie was a beat behind the music for half of the song, and there were pitch problems tonight. The money notes at the end were (whew!) embarrassingly off-pitch. But, she managed to earn the second YWR of the night from Simon. I don't know what it is about Stephanie: no matter how good she is, I feel there's a certain tiny something missing there.

Lakisha Jones is afraid of animals. Now what's she gonna do with that cocker spaniel I just sent her? Very few people on this program can break the [Randy's] cardinal rule…don't ever sing Whitney Houston on American Idol. And although "I Have Nothing" has probably been performed every year here, I would say that Lakisha more than got away with it. Still, Randy had a bug positioned where the sun don't shine, and was compelled to say that 'it wasn't her best.' Paula and Simon knew better, and told her how truly great she was. I personally could not find a single thing wrong with her perfomance, and enjoyed it, thank you very much Randy D. Jackson. Simon closed with his sweet side: "Tonight, you look beautiful." And security: can you please remove those two unruly women from the audience?

At this point in the show, Ryan gets involved in a heated pillow fight with the remaining girls. He is having a gosh-darn fun time out there, but watch out there, Ryan! I think Gina can take you!

Gina Glocksen - Gina has lucky charms: trolls & pickles and special pillows, oh my. It all sounds a bit unsanitary to me. Gina made a truly good song choice, "Call Me When You're Sober," by Evanesance. The song rocks out in a Benatar-esque way, but is clearly more current. I agree with Paula for the 3rd time tonight [what's with that?!] - the song was oversung. Toward the end, it became a shrieky mess, and the money note(s) at the end were way off pitch. But the judges were kind tonight, because they want a rock chick to remain in the game, right?

Melinda Doolittle - I love it when Simon gets turned on by a girl performer. Last year it was Kellie Pickler eliciting Simon's "You naughty little minx!" Tonight it was "You little tiger! And I thought we had a pussycat!" Stop it, Simon. People are watching. Melissa delivered a show-stopping cover of "I'm A Woman," and got everything right, again. She earned Simon's third YWR of the night, this time modified with "a million percent."

Who will go home? What's-her-name [Haley], and hopefully Antonella. But Stephanie may also be vulnerable, too.

Life is a Pitch [Problem] for Top 8 Guys

2007-03-06T19:17:00.001-08:00

Sligh Dawg:
Chris plays
it smart

Results are in on last Thursday's show: The "Hooters Special Effects Award" goes to Kellie Pickler's wardrobe stylist and/or surgical team.

Tonight marked a return to a one-hour format, and hosted the boys and their amazing abillty to not impress. Randy inexplicably sported a shirt with his name on the pocket, complete with the middle initial "D." Perhaps he is moonlighting as a welder. We just know he is proud of his middle name, a nod to his anscestor Alexander Dumas. It's a pity that his parents misspelled it on the birth certificate, with that extra s. Tonight's theme: What you don't know and may be surprised to learn about our male contestants. What? That they actually might stand a chance? Pitch problems abound. And Paula seemed weirdly undercaffienated tonight.

Let's get it on:
A.I. Season 6 growing cult favorite Blake Lewis began by sharing one of the characters that lives inside his chia head, a "Jimmy Walker Blue," who is sort of an unfunny retarded redneck. The vocal segment began with Jimmy's alter ego singing 311's "All Mixed Up" [like the judges, I didn't know the song and had to look it up], which contains the line "We come with the funky style that gets us known for the show" — and which If I'm not mistaken, Blake delivered as "…the funky style that gets us thrown off the show," perhaps in homage to Leslie Hunt's attempt to scat last week. Or did I imagine that? A ridiculous amount of reverb was applied in the mix, which raises ethical questions about whose vocals are and aren't enhanced on this playground. Anyway, the judges and I agree that Blake is bringing something 'current' and interesting to the party, and I agree with Simon that the boy deservedly comes back.

The thing that we would be surprised to learn about Sanjaya Malakar? That he can dance the HULA! No, Sanjaya. Actually, we are not surprised at all. But we do wish that you had worn your grass skirt tonight. And we wonder if you can do the can-can, the hootchy-coo, and the fandango. And so, we move on to the vocal performance, a cover of John Mayer's "Waiting For the World to Change," a song which doesn't rock, isn't funky, and isn't a ballad — it's somewhere in the sonically-pleasant middle. If I were Paula Abdul, I might say that to Sanjaya "You look nice!", or "I'm proud of you!", given a slightly meatier song deliverance than we got from him last week. With this boy's rumored rabid fan base, he's probably not going anywhere, but the performance was lackluster and riddled with pitch problems.

Sundance Head's secret is that he wears a fat suit. I believe it is actually that he wears a talent suit. Unfortunately, he forgot to put it on tonight. Rocking out on Pearl Jam's "Jeremy," the noticably over-mascara'ed Sundance apparently forgot that it would be helpful to sing at least one note on pitch. The growling did not help. Randy & Paula were down with The Head, but Simon pulled out the "indulgent" word for the second time this season. I think Sundance is fortunate that the Head-heads keep voting for him, no matter what.

Chris Richardson used to be fat; now he is phat. Or at least he was before he started singing lame pop-country ballads like Keith Urban's "Tonight I Want To Cry." Not a bad vocal performance, in spite of that signature mildly-annoying reedy tone of his. Our distinguished judge panel was suitably pleased, and Chris' teenybopper fanbase will ensure his return.

Jared Cotter - I hate it when this happens, but I had to take a phone call the moment that Jared's segment began, and missed the entire Cotter experience. I caught enough of the recap at the end to learn that he covered Stevie Wonder's "If You Really Loved Me," and got an immediate sense that it was not going to win him another shot at the crown. He was already vulnerable, but I think he may be on the way out.

Brandon Rogers - We learn that Brandon is a classical pianist; we suspected he had latent talents, so perhaps this is not such a big surprise. Brandon wisely chose an upbeat song this week, Rare Earth's chestnut "I Just Want To Celebrate," but once again disappointed. The vocal had plenty of pitch problems, and this song was not a good showcase for his range. Now is the time for some game-raising, but didn't happen tonight. It's a shame, because I had high hopes for Brandon. Ryan asks: "How bad do you want it?" Apparently, not bad enough.

Phil Stacey - The amazing, incredible thing we didn't know about Phil is that he once had hair. "Here I am, the bald guy," he said. Tonight, he might have said "Here I am, the pathetically boring guy." Phil lost a few points with me with his shameful preperformance suck-up to the judges. With a attempt-at-stylin' hat covering his unfortunate-looking naked pate, Phil delivered an energetic, yet soporific cover of LeeAnn Rimes' "I Need You." Simon is "nervous" for him this week. Um-hmm. I'm hoping this performance was an abberation, but I'm beginning to worry about Phil's song selection skills.

Chris Sligh - We learn that Chris used to have short hair (again, an earthshaking revelation), and that his hair is in fact naturally curly. Well, okay. Chris has a strong and unique voice with sort of an Elton John quality to it, and applied it well to an upbeat DC Talk song called "I Want To Be Loved." If nothing else, Sligh demonstrates consistency in his performance quality and game-savviness as demonstrated by his song selection strategy. He is playing to win, and choosing songs (which as he explained to Paula) are 'trying to build' from one week to the next." So, props for trying to play smart. Comic relief of the evening: Chris making Ryan squirm, with a hug request. Chris, you know Ryan doesn't generally do that sort of thing when cameras are around.

The judges think only 4 of these guys deserve to get to the finals. Sounds about right.

See our judge scorecard below [to come]:

Black Chicks Steal Top 10 Girl Night; Guys Outperformed Again

2007-02-28T20:00:00.000-08:00

Melinda Dolittle:
brilliant fluke,
or Gladys Knight
love child?

Like last night's guy show, this is dedication night, which, for the sentimental among us, makes it just a little harder to properly disdain a few of these girls. For the record, the boyfriends win. For Simon, it is fashion review night.

Gina Glocksen - I have over-dissed Gina enough already, so I'll try to be fair and speak only of this performance. Gina is clearly making a conscious effort to hide her arrogant side, and soften her default grating personality. Hitting the stage in a red would-be-pretty party dress, she proceeded to deliver Heart's "Alone" with notable vocal ability. But as with last week, her money notes at the end went screechy. Simon wants her to return to her edgier self. I've got news for Simon, & Gina: umm…red streaks in black hair — really not so edgy.

Alaina Alexander - Showing spunk if only in her song choice, the Dixie Chicks' "Not Ready to Make Nice," Alaina was just a notch better than last week's breathy "Brass in Pocket." This one was more of a whispery twang. Alaina should have gone home last week, and definitely will leave after tonight. She just doesn't have it goin' on.

Lakisha Jones - Well, "Midnight Train to Georgia" happens to be a favorite song of mine, so I was happy with this selection. And even at her worst, Lakisha could sing the Paula Abdul songbook and make it golden. So I can't really fault this performance. But I will say that this, her first "non-belter," was just a bit short of great. Simon agrees.

Melinda Doolittle - Neck-challenged Melinda chose Rogers & Hart's jazz classic "My Funny Valentine," a wonderful but odd and difficult-to-sing number. But alas and eureka, she wrote her name all over it. Looking surprisingly comfortable on stage, she delivered a five-star performance, and looked every bit the Star. She's got it, neck or no neck, and all 3 judges agree.

Antonella Barba - I have assasinated Ms. Booberella's character and personality enough already - It's time to judge her purely on performance. I can't say she doesn't have a sort of a strong voice, but it has an annoying tonal quality, and she also had a few problems with pitch. Oops - then she chose to pull a Chris Sligh and diss Mr. Cowell, in a very personal way. Welcome back to New Jersey, Barbarella.

Jordin Sparks - Thank You, Jordin, for causing me to revisit the goose-bumps you gave me last week. This uber-cute 17-year-old prodigy delivered a near-perfect rendition of Christina Aguilera's "Reflection," which has been done here many times before. I believe the judges think she is too young to go all the way in this competition. Randy and Simon were non-plussed, and Paula (who liked the performance) said something like "you're going to do well in life" -- like something you say to someone you think is leaving. Is it just me who feels she may be Top 3 bound? I try not to pick favorites this early on, but I love Jordin. Liked the hair tonight, too.

Stephanie Edwards - The anti-dedication: Mom & Dad made me do it! It's all their fault I'm here! Stephanie applied her amazing voice to Beyonce's "Dangerously In Love," pulling out all the right stops and putting her stamp on it. But wait — surprise! Randy is pulling out the card he plays at least once a week -- the "you are not allowed to sing Beyonce/Whitney/Celine/Christina" card. What is with this guy? All the good "singer's songs" are "too big" for our contestants, according to Mr. Jackson. What does he want them to sing? SMALL songs? Fortunately, the less mentally-challenged other 2 judges completely disagree. Randy busted once again…score!

Leslie Hunt - If you're cute little Leslie Hunt, you've gotta hate having to follow some of tonight's house-rocking barn-burners. Like A.J. (last night), Leslie chose to sing "Feelin' Good." And, I do not feel so good. Although flapless this week (as promised) the pseudo-scat ending was just plain embarrassing, and the rest of it was like, I don't know… [insert Simon Love Boat/Theme Park simile here]. It almost made me wonder how she has gotten this far. I have to give props: Leslie has, hands down, the best dimples in this competition. But Buh-bye, Leslie, I will miss looking at you.

Hayley Scarmato - Haven't you girls been taking notes? Randy is absolutely not going to let you get away with singing a Whitney Houston song. It has just never happened, and never will. Well, I think it was a good choice and a good performance. She was obviously playing to win (an "A" for effort, as Simon said), and pretty much rocked it out. So stuff Randy. Was it good enough? I can't say. And 'Scarmato' may be too dubious a name for this game anyway.

Sabrina Sloan - More love for the hair this week. Uh-oh. Another Whitney song. Danger!Danger! Randywillnotallow! Like last week, Sabrina did deliver and show great talent, this time singing "All The Man That I Need." Unfortunately, she ended on a weakish note, but I think she's coming back. I still like her.

Who's going home?
Alaina, and either Hayley or Leslie

Check out our judge scorecard below (to come)

Top 10 Guys: Starring Blake Lewis & the Other 9

2007-02-27T19:33:00.000-08:00

Grandma

Tonight was “Dedication Night,” which allowed our Top 10 guys to ingratiate us with their warm-and-fuzziness. Whoa! Jeff Foxworthy is in da house! What — he has a new TV show on Fox — tonight!? Right after Idol!? My god, what are the odds??!!!

Ryan: “The guys are back. And this time it’s personal.” To paraphrase Meg Ryan from You’ve Got Mail - What’s that mean - it’s personal? It’s ALWAYS personal.

You go guys:
Phil Stacey - Putting his own stamp on John Waite’s “I Ain’t Missing You,” Phil once again demonstrated (as Paula pointed out) a nice vocal tone [a Sting-esque tenor], and he performed in a very confident manner. Still — I’m left feeling a little non-plussed. Simon agrees. But Phil's still on my good side, for now.

Jared Cotter - Jared hoped to be channeling Marvin Gaye with his rendition of “Let’s Get it On.” I just think he should have specified that he wanted to channel the pre-deceased Marvin. Love the song - love Marvin Gaye — but I think I prefer Jack Black’s version from High Fidelity. Jared took a big step backward from last week. This one had pitch problems, and was sort of karaoke-esque. He set himself up for this!

A.J. Tabaldo - If I’m not mistaken, this Nina Simone classic “Feelin’ Good” was the audition song that put A.J. through to Hollywood. It reminds me of that other perennial Idol favorite “Fever,” in that it calls for a smoky delivery, on pitch, sung with great feeling. And A.J. pretty much delivered it. He has a great smile, good stage presence, and I can’t much fault the performance. Much better than last week. He deserves a return.

Sanjaya Malakar - If you’re as much of a movie geek as I am, you may have heard this Irving Berlin song ("Steppin' Out With My Baby") before — sung by Fred Astaire in the 1948 film "Easter Parade.” So I thought: Good — Sanjaya is gonna do a vintage song, and put a cool modern spin on it. Problem is, Fred had his tap shoes to fall back on. All Sanjaya has is his 100-watt smile and his whisper-mode, junior-king-of-pop-iness. I kept thinking there was a good performance in there if he had just kicked up the vocal several notches, as he almost managed to do at the end. I’m sure that the 12-year old girl voting block is still strong out there, so he will get another chance. Meanwhile, all we can do is pray that is voice changes before next week.

Chris Sligh - Breaking News: Chris Sligh’s CD dropped today. No, I’m not kidding. According to the myspace site of Chris’ band [former band?] Half Past Forever, February 27 is the drop date for the album. I believe some secrets have been kept. Half Past Forever shows considerable talent and radio-readiness, so please do not underestimate force-of nature Mr. Sligh. Sporting a fresh new perm, Chris’ performance of Ray Lamontagne’s “Trouble” well demonstrated that he can indeed deliver a vocal, if a little on the vibrato-ish side. Chis is safe.

Nick Pedro - Goodfella Nick returns, solid voice intact, and manifest reticence as a performer also unfortunately evident. “Fever” has been done many times on Idol - but Nick actually did it justice with the just-right upper-register smolder the song calls for. He ran off pitch towards the end, but mainly I am (like Ryan & Paula) more bothered by his apparent discomfort in simply being on stage. This problem will not work for him in the long run, so I hope he can address it soon.

Blake Lewis - I am glad that I have kept my mind open for this guy, because he really delivered tonight. Rocking out Jamiroquai’s "Virtual Insanity," Blake showed star quality and immediately raised himself above the pack. He’s fresh & funky, yo. His trajectory could still go either way, but tonight he definitely delivered and entertained.

Brandon Rogers - Can’t say that Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” is a bad song selection. After all, the immortal Miles Davis chose to cover it. Grandmother dedication notwithstanding, this was a bit on the too-mellow side. The judges were correct in pointing out that Brandon has the goods, but he wasn’t quite demonstrating it tonight, although it was a notch above last week. I hope he hangs in. And Simon loves puppies.

Chris Richardson - I dissed Chris considerably last week as being a JT clone. Don’t know what Grandma thought about it, but I can’t much diss his performance tonight, which was energetic, confident,and just plain good. As the song says “from zero to hero.” Chris was playing to win, so kudos.

Sundance Head - Tonight was a crossroads for Sundance. Fortunately, he finally delivered on the promise of his first audition, nailing Wilson Pickett’s 60s classic “Mustang Sally.” The song wasn’t perfect for displaying his range (if he has one), but was probably perfect for him in every other way. He needs to stick to this sort of thing. He stays.

Who will go home? Jared, and (yikes) Nick

Our exclusive judge scorecard below (click to enlarge)

Top 12 Girls Bring It

2007-02-21T23:00:00.000-08:00

The Dog
[photo by Natalie Caudill]

Top 24 week is about choosing the 4 least fit for the long haul. Listen up, judges: put aside the nitpicks, ignore the bad song choices, and yes, even the pitch problems, to focus on the big picture view, which asks "Who brought it, and who's got it?" [And who didn't, and doesn't?] Speaking of judges, my eventual future decision to stop watching this show will be the fallout of some random retarded Randy-ism that drove me over the edge. Yes, Paula is still Paula. Simon is still Simon. But Randy is the new & improved, more annoying, more clueless, more useless Randy.

Watch and listen, as the chicks sort of put the dudes to shame:

Stephanie Edwards: I love this song — Alicia Keys' "How Come U Don't Call Me Anymore" (actually a 1983 Prince B-side) so kudos for knowing how to choose a song. The vocal was pretty spot-on, the performance (which included the staple "Fantasia Knee-Drop") was above average. She deserves to stay.

Amy Krebs: I am ready for this song "I Can't Make You Love Me" to be officially retired from this show. It's been done to death, and it's kind of a downer, to boot. I do love Bonnie Raitt, but Lord, she's had a 30 year career — can we pick another tune? Note to Amy: singing a ballad doesn't mean singing it in your sleep. Way under-sung. Overall, kind of nice, but a bad ending.

Leslie Hunt: If points could be tallied for dimplage, Leslie would be riding high. This girl impressed me early on as a contender to the Kat McPhee "cute as a button" crown, but alas — she let me down tonight in the vocal department. [By contrast, Kat did justice to Aretha's "Think" early on in Season 5.] In the first of 3 Aretha Franklin covers tonight ("Natural Woman"), the adorable Ms. Hunt was embarrassingly outshone by the 3 black chicks singing back-up. In fact, there is no other way to describe this performance but "white." Oh so very white. That's not racist, because I like white people. It's just that many of them sound too much like Leslie Hunt. Seriously, she needs to focus more on choosing something more suitable for her talents.

Sabrina Sloane: In the second Aretha cover of the night ("Never Loved A Man The Way I Loved You"), Sabrina showed what it is like to hit the vocal bullseye. It was a very original (non-karaoke) version, note perfect, and a great stage performance. Overall, I was impressed, even though she kind of messed up the ending. But I really like her, in spite of that fright wig.

Antonella Barba-doll: I will make no secret of the fact that I am pre-disposed NOT to like the surviving member of the New Jersey Plastics: the undeserving rich bee-ach, as it were. I will give her some props: she's an OK singer, albeit a little on the nasally side. And model-pretty. Simon hated her performance, which I interpret as wanting her off the show — could it be that those racy party-girl photos that have recently surfaced on the Web loom as a scandal in the making? Let's not forget Frenchie Davis. Right again, Simon — we must not encourage girls like Ms. Barba, and all the other Barba-dolls. No, American Idol is not a Beemer pit-stop between the day spa and the sorority house.

Jordin Sparks: Now we're talking. This girl (just 17) is all personality, in a very good way. The Tracy Chapman song "Give Me One Reason" was an original choice, and happened to work very well for her. The judges did not go gaga for Jordin, but she definitely made me sit up and take notice. I think she may have that WOW factor — confidence and brilliant talent in a fairly attractive package. Predictions at this point may be foolish, but I can definitely see Jordin making it to the Top 10. I'm feelin' the Sparks.

Nicole Tranquillo: Nicole sang a Chaka Khan song, and I was pretty much feelin' it; and generally, the judges were not (Paula was). Simon called it "indulgent." Randy said the song was "too urban" for her, which is racist code for "you're too white to sing that." Coming from a man who once played bass for the most soul-challenged band in history — Journey, this seems like a case of the pot calling the kettle white. And maybe I'm not so fond of this usage of the word "urban," which doesn't mean "black," people, okay? It actually means "Kidman husband." Anyway, Randy was wrong, because she sang with passion and soul.

Hayley Scarnato: Uggh. Chose to sing a very forgettable Celine/Meatloaf power ballad, and sounded very much like Olivia Newton-John while doing so. And I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing. Hayley inspired the Simon Simile of the Night "it was sort of like the last song at a reasonably good hotel." I can definitely see her leaving. I can also see myself using the expression "Meatloaf power ballad" again in the future, even when not discussing this show.

Melinda Doolittle: This 24-year-old former backup singer covered Aretha's "Since You've Been Gone," (a great choice) and neatly tied it up with a big ribbon. I mean, this performance was perfect, and Melinda is a very likable cutie-pie. Great stage presence. Melinda's a major contender.

Alaina Alexander: Well, Alaina showed fine taste in choosing the Pretenders' "Brass in Pocket," but did not do the song any favors. Some singing ability is evident, but her performance was breathy when it should have been ballsy. The song said "I'm Special!", but the performance did not. The judges were none too pleased.

The perennially obnoxious Gina Glocksen, who believes "it's her time," chose the 1975 Eric Carmen power ballad (yes, Celine sang it, too) "All By Myself," which I don't think I can ever hear again without picturing Renee Zellweger lip-synching it in "Bridget Jones' Diary." Gina's got some chops (I guess), along with a certain unlikability factor, which boiled down to a so-so performance. Unlike Gina herself, I was not so pleased with the big power note she strained so hard to hit. Gina, I'm thinking that "your time" will be up soon.

Lakisha Jones: Wowie Zowie! Simon Cowell's favored female contestant, the opera-trained Ms. Jones delivered on all promises, and brought down the roof with a brilliant rendition of "I'm Not Going." At this point, I'm pretty sure Lakisha could eat the rest of the contestants for breakfast [No, that's not a fat joke]. I still have goose-bumps. Go, Lakisha.

Who will go home? Amy and Alaina.

Tonight's Tribunal Tally below! Click to enlarge. Right-click to download.
[Reposting of the Tally only allowed with source credit: http://idolblather.blogspot.com/]

Top 12 Boys: Come On Feel The Mediocrity

2007-02-20T23:00:00.000-08:00

The Supreme Yamin:
Are male singers of
this caliber to be found
in Season 6?

Welcome to Season 6 - the real competition. So what's up with the Top 12 guys? Can any one of these dudes hold a candle to my main man — Season 5 third-placer Elliott Yamin? The judges have opinions galore; but beginning tonight, it's up to us to say. Notable new Ryan quirk: the Brit pronunciation of "Paula" as "pole-uh," a la Cowell. What's up with that?

Without further ado, the Top 12 guys:

Rudy Cardenas - My daughter calls this 28-year-old Venezuala native "that lesbian boy," due to his decided resemblance to K.D. Lang. I don't know about all that, but Rudy may have invited trouble when he decided to hit the stage wearing a target shirt, um, I mean a shirt with a target. Rudy set his boy band voice to work on a classic rock song "Free Ride," and came up very short, in spite of a good dose of shimmy-shaking and an impressive display of pretty teeth. He may win the majority of the dental hygienist vote, but what are we going to do with an Idol named Rudy?

Brandon Rogers - 28 year old former back-up singer Brandon masterfully employed the trademark Constantine/Ace "smoldering camera stare" while delivering his take on Michael Jackson's "Rock With You." I thought it was a good song choice for tonight, and I do like him, but the performance did not especially rock me.

Sundance "Mr. Potato" Head - Sundance has gotten this far by riding the wave of his stellar first audition (a credible, bluesy "Stormy Monday"), where he received the rare Simon praise "I'd be surprised if you don't make it to the finals." Tonight the boy inexplicably abandoned his roots to trip the light ridiculous with a washed-out rendition of "Nights In White Satin." Randy hit a rare note of accuracy when he pointed out that there was not a single note on pitch. This was indeed a sad performance. Sundance is now well on the way to winding up even more semi-unknown than his one-hit-wonder dad Roy Head. Note to Sundance: Monster Garage called…Jesse James wants his fashion statement back.

Paul Kim - Paul stubbed his left big toe backstage before the show, and unfortunately was unable to perform tonight. No, just kidding. Paul is doomed to be perpetually remembered by A.I. fans as "that guy from Season 6 who refused to wear shoes." I guess I can forgive the George Michael song, but the falsetto note was painful, and I noticed his feet had a certain guilty look. Kind of brings to mind that ancient Asian proverb: "Man who wear no boots on Tuesday may get boot on Thursday."

Chris "Timber-Fake" Richardson - Last time I checked, Justin Timberlake was still alive and kicking. So why on earth would we need a miniature replica? Rumor has it that Timberlake has begun intellectual property legal proceedings, citing Richardson's spot-on sample of the JT trademark 45-degree head-cock and a complete spectrum of other copped Justin moves. Extra points deducted for choosing to sing the over-chosen perennial un-favorite "I Don't Wanna Be." But even his annoying vocal tone won't send him home anytime soon.

Nick Pedro - This is the guy who sort of looks like my brother, and that my daughter calls "that dreamy guy." Nick, that is. I am fairly down with nervous Nick, who I feel is something of a diamond in the rough. He had a few vocal problems, but he's talented enough, and likable. I'd like to see him come back. So, vote for Pedro (not the last time you'll hear that joke)!

Blake Lewis - Blake is an interesting contestant. For that reason alone, I hope he hangs in. His favorite musical artists (according to Fox's A.I. site) are a mix of well-chosen iconoclasts and legends. One obscure name he cited is truly a singer's singer, Martin Sexton, so I have to score Blake some points for good musical taste. And he has some stage presence. His singing voice -- debuting tonight with Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know" — had an 80s UK feel — that's not really a bad thing - and as Sis says, "at least he wasn't spitting into the microphone"). Blake is hard to properly size up as yet, but he is sort of refreshing.

Sanjaya Malakar - Rumor has it that this 17-year-old is the only male contestant from Season 6 that the judges unanimously exempted from pre-competition steroid testing. He's clearly talented and a reasonably confident singer, but may be too shy to sufficiently assert himself in this competition. Meanwhile, he can count on being propelled by the "he's so cute!" vote, and his sister's daily phone calls.

Chris Sligh - Chris is playing a dangerous game - he's too cynical to really buy into the premise of the show, but nevertheless wants to ride the magic star-making bus while he can. He has consistently delivered some decent performances, and I think his popularity will keep him around for long while; though no one is safe enough at this point to afford throwing personal disses in Simon Cowell's direction. And if you look like Chris, it is wise not to mention Teletubbies. Or any other tubbies.

Jared Cotter - I don't remember much about Jared before tonight, but I found his performance to be pretty solid, if a bit on the undistinguished side. He can really sing, although a lack of personality may eventually spell his downfall.

A.J. Tabaldo - Tonight A.J. was the recipient of Simon's Simile Of The Night — "that was like something you'd hear in a theme park." I am actually hearing some talent from 'this year's A.J.', but we may have an IT-factor deficit here. But judging from the female audience response, he may have some staying power.

Phil Stacey - You know how some guys look all sexy when they shave their heads, while others look like they're undergoing chemotherapy? Well, er, 'nuff said. Phil's sexiness-challengedness notwithstanding, I really do like the way he sings. He certainly deserves to be here, and he deserves to move on to the next round.

Who will go home? Sundance & Rudy.

Idol Blather is proud to debut a new and exclusive feature: The Tribunal Tally, in which we will attempt to chronicle judge comments and behavior. This is a daunting challenge in the case of Randy Jackson, a veritable blizzard of randomly expelled half-baked thoughts. Well, we may miss a "dog" or a "yo" from time to time, but we hope to maintain a high standard of accuracy, and will keep a season-long tally for posterity. This feature may evolve, but for now, I'm rolling it out as is.
Click to enlarge; right-click to download the Tally.
[Reposting of the Tally only allowed with source credit: http://idolblather.blogspot.com/]