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Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
FOX Announces Detailed 2008 Schedule
Friday, December 21, 2007Fans anxiously awaiting the return of American Idol can start planning their weeknights for the next few months, as Fox has announced a detailed schedule for the series. The show is set to kick off with a two-night, four-hour event on Tuesday, January 15, and Wednesday, January 16.
The early audition episodes, which some of us would rather not witness and some of us can't get enough of, will be the focus of the four-hour premiere. They'll continue through hour-long episodes that will air on January 22, 23, 29, and 30, as well as February 5 and 6.
Viewers who can't stand to watch the early carnage will want to start tuning in on Tuesday, February 12, which is when the Hollywood Round will begin. It'll kick off with a two-hour episode, followed by a one-hour episode the following night revealing the Top 24.
The Top 12 males and the Top 12 females will perform in two-hour episodes airing on Tuesday, February 19 and Wednesday, February 20. Those performances will be the first to allow audience voting, which means you can expect the elimination of two men and two women on February 21.
The male performers will then lay claim to Tuesdays, with the Top 10 singing during a 90-minute episode on February 26, followed by the Top 8 battling on March 4 from 8-9pm. Wednesdays will be ladies' night, with the Top 10 competing on February 27, and the Top 8 attempting to out-belt each other on March 5 from 9-10pm. Eliminations will take place on Thursdays at 8pm, culminating in the reveal of the Top 12 on March 6.
Finally, the performances of the Top 12 will begin on Tuesday, March 11, with a two-hour episode. The first single elimination of the season will take place the following night.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Bled From The Ears, And Blake's To Blame: Final Two Square Off
The Space Needle,
as seen
from
the air,
approaching
Seattle Tacoma
Airport…
very soon
Tonight's final performance competition of the season was held in the prodigious Kodak Theatre, where Ryan Seacrest opened with the summary statement "100,000 down, 2 to go," as good a summary as any. He reminded us that this Final, between Blake Lewis and Jordin Sparks, is once again a battle of the sexes, as it has almost always been. But there's a new dynamic this season, which Simon Cowell condensed into a soundbite spread widely in the media this week — that it will be a battle featuring "a great entertainer" vs. "a great singer." As for me, I'm removing the gloves to deliver my own summary soundbite — that it was a battle between "a short dork" and "A tall Star." Minced words are no longer necessary. Phil Stacey, Chris Richardson, Lakisha Jones, and Felicity Huffman were all in the house.
Round 1 - 'Previously Performed' Choice
Blake Lewis, dressed for comfortable air travel in the first of three fascinatingly different argyle sweater vests worn over three different (I guess) untucked oxford shirts and grungy-looking shoes, reprised his beatbox rendition of Bon Jovi's You Give Love A Bad Name, for which he received a good deal of praise a few weeks back. I still disdain this lame song; and while it was on approximate par with his original performance, some of the ambush fresh factor was lost in the reprisal. And knowing that Jon was not standing in not the wings steaming, it just felt like something was missing. Blake's Dad assumed the drummer was responsible for all that noise. And by the way, if you were shot through the heart, wouldn't you say "and you did it, dammit!"? Now, if you were seriously injured by said shot, then you might say "shot through the heart, and a very expensive transplant was required to save my life, and……you're to blame." Now that would make much more sense. But it would still be a pretty lame lyric. The judges loved it however, causing me to wonder what decisions were made in the war room before the show regarding who should be propped up the most tonight.
Jordin Sparks, looking radiant in straighter, flatter hair, chose a real singer's song, Christina Aguilera's Fighter. There was noticably more seriousness and less playfulness in her tonight; and as the song progressed it was clear that she was bringing more energy, more performance to her delivery than usual, perhaps in a conscious effort to compete head-to-head with the so-called "Entertainer." Randy and invisibly-broken-nosed Paula both called it "stellar," but Simon was still stewing in his agenda. To paraphrase his critique, "Blake was great, and Jordin is still 17." But with the words "I am a fighter, and I ain't gonna stop / There is no turning back," Jordin was clearly playing to win — and doing just fine at it, thank you.
Round 2 - The 'Whatever' Choice
Blake began his Decline this evening with Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved, which was lame, pitchy and mediocre, underscoring his fatal dependence on mic-spitting. This is the sort of song choice which compelled the judges to call him "contemporary" and "edgy" all season long — go figure. Tonight however, they were scrambling for something positive to salvage out of this mess. "Uh, great song," said Randy. Uh-huh. Simon said "I wouldn't have chosen that song for the Final," while simultaneously thinking "Dude, did you see that close-up of Jordin's face on the big screen on that last number?," as he began to have second thoughts about Mr. Beatbox.
Part 2 of Jordin's campaign strategy featured her reprisal of Martina McBride's A Broken Wing. And although I thought she was somewhat drowned out by the music and background vocals, it was once again a money vocal at a time she needed it most. Randy called it 'flawless' and 'better than the original' [who's original?] before mentioning for the second time tonight and for the 28th time this season that she is 17. Paula was in fine form, with her insight that Jordin "looked adorable," while Simon finally decided to vacate the Dark Side and give over to the Sparks-shower, admitting "Now, that was good."Round 3 - Kraft CrackerBarrel Songwriting Competition Winner
Please don't get me started on these cheesy treacly end-of-season songs. Only one thing could be worse than this homogenous vanilla pseudo-musical piece of velveeta called This Is My Now, and that would be Blake's hopelessly bad delivery of it. It started rather pitifully; and then, millions of viewers were forced to spend the next 3 minutes wondering what this guy was doing on the Kodak Theatre stage, and why the producers would sponsor a songwriting competition with this dud as the frickin' prizewinning yield. And so, all of us were forced to close our eyes and think of Jordin up on the big screen again (which was easy enough for me) just to get through it. This performance caused the judges to don a vicarious brave face for Blake, who by this time was exploring beatbox pantomime with a staccato sad/desperate smile, as he visualized the runner-up writing on the wall. Simon suggested that we must now judge Blake on his first 2 performances only, which reminded me of when a courtroom judge instructs the jury to ignore that last comment, which will be stricken from the record. But that never works — we all heard it loud and clear.
Jordin Sparks, a knockout in a knee-length sparkly black gown and large sparkly earrings, was given her songwriting competition winning song to sing, coincidentally named This Is My Now. This one had a melody, and was a much better song. By now I was thinking that it was unfair that Blake didn't get to sing the good one. And as I listened to Jordin's beautifully clear and emotive vocal, it hit me — could this in fact be the same song that Blake was attempting to perform a few minutes ago? Hmm, that would explain the verbatim song title… All facetiousness aside, this one cinched it for Sparks. By the end of the last tear-choked note, all three judges were ready to hand her the sceptre & crown and bouquet of roses and promise to never mention her age ever again.
Chris Daughtry (make-up by Gina Glocksen) closed the show with the Seattle-themed Home, which caused me to conjure up wistful anticipative images of Blake's "journey video." I think Lewis had a bad day.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The Semi-FInals: Three Into Two Won't Go
A Question
Of Balance
Season 6 has been one of very few surprises (other than the Sanjaya Haircuts Du Jour); and with 3 remaining contestants, the writing seems to have been on the wall for a few weeks now — an inevitable girl-girl finale showdown. But tonight saw not one of the three pulling any punches, raising the suspense a notch more than I might have expected. Still, what would surprise us more than anything tomorrow night is to see a female eliminated. And though some may find the ultimate American Idol Winner pronouncement to be a surprise, expect nothing more outrageous than…oh, a girl who was repeatedly reminded she was too young for this game…coming out on top, perhaps? Did we forget that Britney Spears made her first step toward superstardom with a hit single at age 17? Not to mention Stevie Wonder, LeeAnn Rimes, and Tanya Tucker, all of whom scored with a major radio hit at age 13. But, I digress, and we're getting ahead of ourselves…
Nine (!) performances tonight, in 3 categories — organized according to who made the song choices. We caught video snippets of the contestants respective homecoming trips from the past week, but not much. And the judges all seemed to adapt the Paula Abdul mission statement tonight: I will find good in just about anything.
Judges' Choice
Jordin - Simon chose Rose Royce's Wishing On a Star; and though previously unheard by Phoenix native Sparks, she made a fine show of it. The arrangement had a slick, uptown jazz Anita Baker sort of feel — which Simon didn't care for — although he thought she sang it brilliantly. We didn't love the arrangement either, but found it all good nonetheless.
Blake hails from Seattle suburb Bothell, which rhymes with almost nothing, except maybe "awful." Paula chose The Police's classic Roxanne, which seemed an appropriate choice, at least on paper. Blake, looking somehow more would-be than could-be star, delivered a fairly mediocre & pitchy rendition, to be honest about it. Sting has his signature sound - a strong, controlled tenor that really has no peer; something one forgets until one hears a Blake Lewis copycat rendition. The judges were entirely too charitable this time; but then, they don't want everyone to jump to the conclusion that Blake is homebound this week.
Nashville native Melinda was informed by the governor of Tennessee that Randy Jackson [breaking one of his own cardinal rules] chose Whitney Houston's I Believe In You And Me for her. Melinda can handle anything, of course; but ironically, I (and she) had more trouble with this performance than any other she's turned in this season. I disagree with the judges — this was definitely not one of her best. Yes, it's a rangy, difficult song…and the difficulty showed. As a song choice for Melinda I give it a C-; as a performance, a B. It's not going to hurt her, but I'm not going to say it was great.
Producers' Choice
Jordin, who I will parenthetically forgive for loving Hanson's MMM-Bop [come on, she was only 6 when that hit], was saddled with the pedestrian Donna Summer disco hit She Works Hard For The Money. First of all, this is not a vocal showcase number and was never a great song in the first place; but Jordin easily sang it as well Summer did, effortlessly and stylefully. She looked great and seemed comfortable with it— against all odds, and of course sounded great. And three judges agreed.
It is rare that singer and song are as well matched as Blake and Maroon 5's This Love — perfect for his particular vocal skills (such as they are) and musical style (such as it is). It was a totally servicable performance which may or may not have been helped by Blake's obligatory injection of beat-scat piffle. Anyway, the judges liked.
Melinda was handed Tina Turner's autobiographical R & B classic Nutbush City Limits, and could well have been channeling Tina herself. Sporting over-the-eye bangs and hair extensions (?), Mindy delivered (as Randy said) another star performance. The ever-articulate Paula said it best with "We love you; we love you; we love you."
Contestants' Choice
It was only right for Jordin to reprise her best performance of the season with her goosebump-inducing I Who Have Nothing. If you did not experience goosebumps, please pause here and ask someone to check your pulse. Randy called it her best of the night. The seemingly extra-medicated Paula told Jordin that it "sat well in your voice." Well, okay. Simon did not like the song the first time she sang it and has not changed his opinion, though he owned up to the quality of the vocal. Jordin defused him, and us, with her disarming light-emitting smile, and accompanying earnest giggle. Yes, even Simon Cowell can be easily dismissed if you do it charmingly enough. Jordin did register some mild indignation over Simon's problem with the song's age — I mean, aren't 90% of the songs performed on this show 30-40 years old? Anyway, that number is 866-43657, followed by 01, 04, or 07, okay?
"Prime Minister of Plaid" Blake Lewis had a jam moment at home with Sir Mix-A-Lot, before hitting the Idol stage with Robin Thicke's When I Get You Alone. I will begrudgingly admit (as Simon did) that this one actually hit the mark. Risky, and pulled off very well. Now may be time for some Blake superlatives — i.e.,this could actually have been one of his best vocals this season. But is it too little, too late?
Melinda, who just had a street named for her in Nashville ("The Boulevard of Self-Effacement") chose the chestnut I'm A Woman, and wailed on it with all 8 cylinders. One might have been moved to get up and dance, or to whoop & holler. Or…one could do as Paula Abdul did, and simply declare this a "Celebration Of Melinda's Journey." Thank you, Richard Gere. Simon was a little more direct. He made it quite clear that he wants her in the finals — and doesn't she deserve it? Not that she'll win, mind you.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
How Can You Mend A Broken Theme? Final 4 Brave The Brothers Gibb
Justin Timberlake
& Jimmy Fallon
Gibb'in It Up
on SNL
I don't think I've ever heard Barry Gibb's actual speaking voice before — and SNL's Jimmy Fallon got it all wrong in his hilarious impersonation; Gibb does not speak in a choppy falsetto that resembles his singing voice —no, 61-year-old Gibb in fact seems to be channeling Sean Connery. Our guest mentor (as Ryan informed us in the intro) has an amazing resumé as a singer, songwriter, and producer in a career that that spans five decades, beginning with the Bee Gees [Brothers Gibb]. As Idol mentor, Gibb liked the idea of our contestants tackling his songs — at least on paper — but when it came down to actually hearing them, he seemed a bit challenged & mystified by their choices and arrangements. With Amy Grant & Vince Gill in the audience and Paula & Simon in matching white outfits, it promised to be a somewhat interesting night. The inevitable question [and inevitable cheesy pun] is who will be Stayin' Alive this week?!
ROUND 1
Melinda Doolittle kicked off with the 1979 Bee Gee hit Love You Inside & Out, and probably did as well and as much with the song as any singer in the world could do. But Paula Abdul was feeling a little unsatisfied — she was looking for something that wasn't there that she wanted to be there. I felt that Mindy was as solid as ever; but you know, it just gets hard to impress when they are aware that you're already as good as it gets.
I was ready to keep my mind open about last man standing Blake Lewis, newly re-streaked, who scored big last week with a daring beatboxed Bon Jovi remix. What might he pull out of his quasi-hipster sleeve tonight? Barry gave tentative approval to the 'beatbox thang', enough blessing for Blake to suppose he could pull off the Full Falsetto on You Should Be Dancing. The Big Question now morphs from "Can beatboxing be incorporated successfully into a pop recording" to "Should Woody Woodpecker impersonations be introduced into otherwise perfectly good songs, and why? Discuss amongst yourselves. This was not - dare I say it? - the more appealing omni-percussive Blake trifle, but a brave new monotonal stammer-escent sound. The judges rightly called this unsuccessful - Simon went one better and called it "absolutely terrible." Yikes. Was last week a fluke?
Lakisha Jones - I'm not sure which demonstrates worse judgement: choosing to sing Stayin' Alive on American Idol, or coming to the decision "Hey, I think I'll slow this party number down!" Those two mistakes notwithstanding, Kiki actually delivered a pretty solid performance. Randy & Paula were not jumping up and down, and Mr. Cowell was not inclined to seek further suckface — he even called the performance 'scary.' Perhaps what is scaring him is the notion that Lakisha may not get the boot this week. Feel the city breakin', and everybody shakin', we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive!
Jordin Sparks - On behalf of Team Jordin, I would like to say 'thank you' to the show's producers for positioning our Shining Star in the coveted Pimp Spot tonight. But be careful, guys: this smacks a bit of semi-finalist manipulation; some have calculated that tonight was rightfully Lakisha's night to perform last. Alas, Jordin was granted the privilege, and twice, to boot! All politics aside, one can only describe her take on the classic To Love Somebody as Bonechillingly Fabulous. To wit: the man who wrote the song and who has heard hundreds of versions of it in his long lifetime was moved to admit, with sparks in his eye - that he has never heard a better one than Jordin's. I'm down with that, and all 3 judges found this to be the best performance of the evening so far.
ROUND 2
Melinda chose one of the most beautiful Gibb ballads of all time, How Can You Mend A Broken Heart, notably recorded recently by overrated Canadian crooner Michael Bublé. Barry admits to some discomfort with Mindy's chord changes on the song, but ultimately approves, and how could he not? Somewhat amusingly, Melinda was reluctant to include the jinxy original lyric "how can a loser ever win?," and opted to leave it out. She gave the song her best Gladys Knight treatment, with a Mindy spin, of course, and then surprisingly kicked the whole dang mess up to fever pitch about two-thirds through the song, with one of the best amazing endings of all her amazing endings to date.
Blake - I think the song choice — a very obscure one called This Is Where I Came In — is actually the thing to give Lewis the most credit for. It is considered highly unusual to perform non-hits on this program, so I will give him props for this risky choice, which was a halfway decent completely unknown song. Having said that, I will say that he applied his standard [pitchy] Human League treatment, and then added insult to injury by reviving the Woody Woodpecker stutter and adding the Leslie Hunt Psycho-Scat effect. If Blake could only have played the originality card and made it work (as he did last week), I'd give him full credit. Unfortunately, this was another risk that didn't play out in a best case scenario. But will he/could he be the beneficiary of some Chris Richardon (or Phil Stacey) "transfer votes," and survive, in spite of it all? And if he does, will he have the good sense to drop the beatboxing next week?Lakisha chose to sing Run To Me, and Barry provided some needed vocal coaching for what he considered to be a very challenging song to sing (having 2 key changes). Another respectable performance here, kicked up by a BIG money ending. But is Lakisha, um, medicated, or what? As Paula expressed earlier, about Melinda, I keep waiting for her to really break out of the box, to surprise us — and she just refuses to do it. She is comfortable with hot, but not scalding. Simon thinks she (and Blake) are vulnerable this week, and I must agree. Lakisha, if you come back — remember: try dropping that Xanex after the show next week.
Jordin - Woman In Love, a 1980 hit for Barbra Streisand, was another brilliant choice for Jordy and was beautifully delivered, by a young woman who Barry Gibb predicted will be "one of our greatest recording artists." Barry had clearly fallen under Jordin's spell — his head seemed to be swimming in a rainbow-colored Sparky mist. And why not? She's young (as the judges keep reminding us), she's beautiful, she's lovable, and she sings like an angel…and will only get better. Simon was not so thrilled by this one, but…whatever. American Idol or not, Jordin is here to stay.
How deep is my love?!
Melinda & Jordin are safe.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Bon Jovi Night: Top Six [again] Livin' On A Prayer
Or then again,
perhaps they
could be…
Antonella " Gone Wild" Barba and Gina Glocksen are in da house! Last week's Idol Gives Back telethon (which we are told raised nearly $70 million for charity) did not eliminate a contestant, so the stakes are high: 2 must go this week. Get out your lighters: it is a night of Bon Jovi music, and I will risk controversy here by admitting that their brand of anthemic formulaic arena rock is not my particular cup of rock n' roll. They were a band for young male wanna-be rockers, a contingent which included the band themselves. This not-so-rootsy subgenre strikes me as a less authentic form, which often approaches a kind of self-parody. Clean-cut family man mentor Jon Bon Jovi is a living testament to the fact, although he took his mentor charge seriously and offered suitable words of wisdom. So… We have established that our contestants had some mediocre material to work with tonight. Who could deal with it? At this point, they're all good — or I should say, they all have their strengths; but who has the right strengths this week? Who will end up…um, dead, or alive?
Phil Stacey used to sing Blaze of Glory into a comb while looking into the mirror. Apparently, Phil can remember combs; but now that he doesn't own one, just how credible can he be? You gotta give him props for finding the cahones to sing these lyrics: "I'm a devil on the run; a six-gun lover; a candle in the wind." It's a Clint Eastwood meets Elton John kinda thing. Paula consolingly offered "this has been a year you'll never forget," while I was thinking "that was three minutes of my life that I'll never get back." Simon said it had no authenticity, you know — like the authenticity of the gunslinger cowboy from New Jersey that wrote the song. Phil is walking the line.
Jordin Sparks told Jon that her mother was a fan [oh, that's gotta make him feel good] and "always put it [Bon Jovi music] in her face." Huh? Not a good way to begin. Even Jon-Jon admitted that Living On A Prayer is an impossibly hard song to sing, but Jordin went with it anyway. Even a sub-par Jordin performance is pretty danged good one, but this was admittedly not her best. The verse has to be sung uncomfortably in the lower register (a little pitchy) to be able to handle the ridiculously high chorus parts. I don't like the song anyway, so it was doubly rough for me. Of all the nights for Sparky to turn in a weak turn, this was not the right one. Her worst mistake: agreeing with the judges that it wasn't her best. Jordin - don't do that. I'm worried for Jordin now — it's way too soon for her to go home. Pardon me while I go vote…Lakisha Jones, skillfully poured into a skin-tight pair of dark blue jeans, told us she was gonna give us a little sump'n sump'n, with her rendition of This Ain't A Love Song. Randy (who seems to just love everyone and everything lately) said she "blew it out da box." Simon, who has been secretly pulling for a Kiki comeback, said he could kiss her, and so he did. I do think it was a good night for her, and Simon seems really intent on keeping her in. After a just-OK performance last week, I wonder — can she pull off a full recovery, and stay?
Newly unhighlighted brunette Blake Lewis decided to take a risk; to roll the dice; to walk on the edge; to parlay peril, by……um, bringing back the beatboxing(!), on You Give Love A Bad Name. Now, this song is a truly banal piece of crap, so thank God Blake decided to change it up — if he had done the Bon Jovi version he would have been booed off the stage. Performing alongside a lone drummer, Lewis actually delivered a fairly forgivable performance that sort of worked. The judges praised his originality and bravery. Hmm. Is this another one we can't write off yet? When in doubt, change up the hair color and spit into the mic.
Chris Richardson - With Bon Jovi Week approaching, Chris knew he'd have to pull out all the stops, which meant of course amping up his trademark simultaneous squint/eyebrow-arch to new levels. Jon told Chris to "find the blue note" on Wanted Dead Or Alive. A challenge! It was like a Harry Potter episode, with Randy as Neville, Paula as Hermoine, and Simon as Snape. What? You mean it's not all one big blue note? Lame song and worse song choice for Richardson. When this one hit the charts in 1986, I think I was too busy dancing to Prince to notice it. As Simon said "You did about as much as you could do with this [swill]." This could definitely put Richardson in jeopardy tomorrow night.
Melinda Dolittle - Jon's advice to Mindy was to apply a little of that down-home churchiness to Have A Nice Day. Oh, but she took it way beyond church. This performance was a revelation. I was a bit concerned that Melinda would not navigate this genre well…She admitted her discomfort and inexperience with rock, but you would never have known it, what with the amazingly confident way she carried herself onstage, as she blew off the roof. She did not merely cover this Bon Jovi song, she competely owned it. In fact, she performed last because Jon had to run out the door with his tail tucked between his legs after having seen her in rehearsal. This was one of my favorite Doolittle perfomances, which means of course that Randy didn't think so. I agree totally with Simon, who said she was in a different league from all the others tonight.This week will be impossible to predict. There will be at least one surprise tomorrow night.
And lastly…I have two questions to pose:
1. What exactly does a President of The United States of America have to do to become an unsolicited public relations benefactor of the most popular and widely watched television program in the country?
2. How clueless and morally bankrupt does one have to be to avoid losing sleep over cashing in on such a PR opportunity, especially in the name of a charity event for hungry and needy children which you had nothing to do with?
Mr. Rove, we found nothing charming about this inappropriate and shameless stunt. Thank you.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Top 6 Conspire to Inspire
Ryan in Africa,
where the
champagne
tastes just like
cherry cola.
C-O-L-A, cola.
Tonight was Night #1 of the long-hyped 2-night fund-raise-a-thon "Idol Gives Back." One can only imagine how many hungry mouths could have been fed if Sanjaya had survived to sing "Man In The Mirror" in a blonde wig this week. U2's Bono was busy off somewhere saving the world on his own and was therefore easily the most invisible guest mentor to date. We learned a lot about world hunger and poverty conditions in the U.S. and Africa; we also learned that balancing a basket of bananas on one's head is something Seacrest is pleased is not in his job description. Favorite comic moment from Simon "in the trenches" — Cowell spoke with a mother-daughter volunteer team at America's Second Harvest; asks mother for a hug, then lunges straight toward the teenage daughter! Our contestants were charged with choosing songs that inspire them, with the presumption that their performances might inspire millions of viewers to give $$$. Whatever inspired the producers to cook up this Idol mega-event, it's a given that it will be hugely successful in raising huge sums of money. By this time next week, American Idol will have saved the world.
Let's visualize whirled peas:
Chris "Nasally is a Singing Style" Richardson chose Eric Clapton's If I Could Change the World, and gave it his dependably above-average twitchy boy-band treatment, with a run-packed money ending. There were a couple of squeaky voice problems along the way, but Richardson pulled off a decent, if not show-stopping opening performance. Randy eloquently opined: "you innit ta winnit." Paula was Proud of him. Yes, even Simon bought Chris this week.
Melinda Doolittle chose Faith Hill's There Will Come a Day. And I have the same problem the judges have — finding new and novel ways to say she was great. The song itself had a bit of a somber feel and is not my inspirational musical cup of tea, but she looked lovely and gave it her usual perfection Mindy Midas Touch. Randy found her to be "so dopey." Um, the feeling is mutual, Randy. Paula reached into her bag of well-worn new age adjectives and pulled out "magical." Simon loved loved loved Melinda.
Resident "hipster" Blake Lewis in a cool blazer with an annoyingly turned up collar [uh…over here, wardrobe mistress!] delivered a performance of John Lennon's Imagine that was one for fans only. Fans of Spandau Ballet, that is. Blake did what he does best — picked a great song. Then he Blaked it, imposing as much one-dimensionalness as he could muster. Simon's critique was on the money, saying that it's tricky to bowl people over with an iconic song that has to be sung quietly — the only strategy you have left is to play the Sincerity Card. In that department, he may have succeeded — but was it enough to keep him in the game? My TV listing for tonight's show said that the theme was "compassion and hope;" indeed, this will be a week of much hope on Blake's part — that he might stay — and that voters will be compassionate.Lakisha Jones - Unlike last week, the spoiler list of tonight's songs I read earlier today was entirely correct. So was my gut feeling when I read that Lakisha was to perform Fantasia Barrino's I Believe — that it was an unimaginative choice and would not score her any points this week. Uh-huh. Fantasia or no Fantasia, I thought Lakisha was behind the beat for most of the song and even had a few pitch problems. The black evening gown may have kept "the girls" under control this week, but the voice needed some underwire support. She did manage to kick it into high gear briefly, but it was all about song choice — unfortunately a wrong one. Pollyanna Abdul was downright assertively negative about Lakisha's inability to occupy Fantasia's shoes. Ouch! Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
A hatless, tuxedo-jacketed Phil Stacey stuck with his newly adopted country genre — well, in the spirit if not the letter of the genre — by choosing a Garth Brooks song The Change. I thought it got off to a dodgy start, but it actually kicked into a very powerful performance for him, maybe one of his best. A great 'vocal showcase' song selection. Stacey may never be Mr. Personality, but I have to give his vocal talents props once again — and I think he may have bought himself another ticket to Stay-ville. But then, I always manage to get this wrong.
The commerical break debuted a celebrity-studded black and white commercial promoting www.one.org [apparently working in cahoots with Idol Gives Back], "A campaign to make poverty history." We can only hope they can channel some funds towards Benicio del Toro's much needed facial reconstruction surgery.
The buzz about Jordin Sparks' show-stopping closing performance to tonight's show actually began one full week ago, when I heard that she would be closing this show and predictably bringing the house down. The song was You'll Never Walk Alone, a Rogers & Hammerstein standard from the 1945 Broadway show Carousel. This was indeed Sparky's [I'm still trying out the nicknames, okay?] star turn. A vision of loveliness in a gorgeous gray gown, the Sparkinator's vocals and stage presence were simply beyond reproach. Glorious, as Paula said (in a moment of lucidity), with closing money notes that made both her parents and her orthodontist proud. Ironically and amusingly on this magnanimous night, we saw the dollar signs light up in Simon's eyes, as he observed "you could have a hit record with that!" Anyway you count it, it's goosebump-arrific. TEAM JORDIN!
Ryan promises that the next show will feature "the biggest shock ever in Idol history." What? A Ruben & Clay duet of "Ebony & Ivory?"!! A John Stevens James Brown medley? Ryan comes out?The most vulnerable, based on tonight's performances: Blake & Lakisha.
Comments?
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Idol Country: Final 7 In Search of the “Y’all Factor”
“The Celine Dion of Country Music” is apparently one phrase used to describe Kansas-born Idol mentor Martina McBride. It isn’t clear as to whether that is intended as a compliment, or indeed if Martina is a closet French-Canadian, like Michael Buble. Martina imparted suitable and appropriate words of musical wisdom to our contestants, unabashedly wow’ed by some of them, and diplomatically tolerant of others. Idol Blather recieved an advance spoiler list of the songs to be performed tonight (straight out of “Martina’s camp”) which was 100% wrong, so I was a little thrown off the mark. But, they did get the performance order correct. And not a single contestant wore a cowboy hat (can you believe it?), not even San-tastic-jaya Malakar!Let’s Roll, Y’all
A hatless Phil Stacey turned in a semi-credible and comfortable cover of Keith Urban’s Black Top, with a hint of twang — once again hitting the notes while failing to shine as much as the stripes on his black Wal-Mart disco shirt. The judges were all in Phil’s court this time, knowing this is likely his week to say buh-bye. Encouraged, Phil boldly proclaimed “this is my genre!” Yes, he really did say that. We, the record-buying public are now so very confused. Mr. Urban may not be losing any sleep over this declaration. Idol trivia: If Phil lands in the bottom 3 this week, he will hold the record for consecutive bottom 3 stints, surpassing Nicki McKibbon from Season One & Anthony Federov from Season Four.
Jordin Sparks - The Sparkster’s risky decision to cover our Guest Mentor's hit Broken Wing had immediate payoff when Martina herself was blown away and called Jordin “awesome.” This was simply another gorgeous performance by gorgeous Jordin, a fact well recognized tonight by all 3 judges. My only complaint is - what took them so long to join Team Jordin? Simon has officially signed on to the Team — so much so that he has granted her His permission to be the next American Idol. Thanks, Simon. Go, Jordin.
Sanjaya Malakar - I long ago outgrew the intense desire for Basmati Boy’s demise, opting to sit back and enjoy the sideshow. This week, however, even the sideshow sucked. This one exceeded my ability to extract benefit-of-the-doubt or so-bad-it’s-goodness from thin air. And thin it was. Sporting a doo-rag in "Barbi Benton on HeeHaw" style, Sanjaya warbled a painfully shaky Something To Talk About. And, do I need to it point out?…Bonnie Raitt is not a country artist and the song does not belong in the genre, period, even by the broadest definitions of Country. Anyway, tonight was Simon’s night to draw a line in the sand and say "Enough, America! I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!" But will America come around?Lakisha Jones - Oddly, I was really feeling Kiki’s rendition of Jesus, Take the Wheel, perhaps because it represented a welcome step outside her comfort zone. Slightly pitchy, maybe; but heartfelt and strong. The judges definitely did not feel the same. Simon thought this was like a breakfast hamburger, which is something that actually sounded tasty to Lakisha, but is not as serious a problem as chalk & cheese, I'm guessing. He still loves her, though — he just wants the old-skool soul belter back. Note to producers: this is the kind of mess you bring on yourself with this wacko theme-o-rama crap.
Chris Richardson - There have been some ill-advised song choices by some contestants this week, and in fact for the entire season; but this one (Rascal Flatts’ Mayberry) was wrong for the wrong reasons. It’s just a really, really, really bad song, lyrically & musically. Even if Ryan Seacrest sang it, there would be nothing redeeming about it. And to add insult to injury, CR struggled with this piece of hootananny hooey, resulting in a great big sonic mess, all while attempting to bust his Timberlake moves to the beat of a banjo, y'all. Simon contributed a Cowellism for the books by calling it “completely and utterly insignificant” — ya gotta love that. Paula eloquently recognized that “the love and joy didn’t come through.” And when Paula is not feelin' the love, there's a problem, even if "nasaly is a singing style," as Richardson insisted. Is there another bottom 3 in Richardson’s future?Melinda Doolittle - I have to admit, the spectacularly consistant and brilliant Ms. Doolittle can sometimes nearly bore me for just that reason. I think that’s why I thought her Trouble Is A Woman so refreshing — it was a nice departure, and an excellent song choice (proving that we don’t have to know the song to enjoy it). Simon came right out and voiced what America has been saying for weeks ‘round the water cooler — that Mindy needs to lose the “What? You really like me?” face. She has effectively mortared another brick in the Finale Wall tonight.
Blake Lewis - Lewis was so noticably unnerved by having to take on this genre that I almost felt a bit sorry for him. Indeed, he may be the first person to ever sing a country song in an argyle sweater vest. One of Blake’s assets is his acute ability to choose just the right song to suit his particular, uh, talents. In his hands, Tim McGraw’s Whenever The Stars Go Blue (like many of Blake’s perfomances) took on sort of an eighties Brit vibe. And that’s not entirely a bad, nor especially country thing. The negative here is that the chorus depended heavily on a strong falsetto delivery, to which Lewis gave a washed-out Malakaresque treatment. As Simon said, I’m not jumping out of my chair." But I will give Blake an ‘A’ for effort, and a few points for making something so alien to him his own. Yikes, think I may have actually halfway enjoyed this one, against all odds.Despite a valiant effort tonight, I'm thinking Phil Stacey will be hittin' the road this week.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Top 8 Take Stretch Turn, as J.Lo Brings Up the Rear
Jenny from
the block,
on the eight
Bona fide superstar, movie star, singer, dancer and all-'round cottage industry Jennifer Lopez was guest mentor to our remaining eight on "Latin Night." Last week Gina Glocksen valiantly attempted to tow the theme line and lost out, later commenting that "it's hard to rock out Tony Bennett." And so it is with American Idol's tradition of the gauntlet of Random Weekly Themes. Fortunately, the contestants are allowed to pussyfoot around the theme — and in this case choose to sing any song that ever featured bongos, timbales or a cowbell. In our opening sequence, they sat in a circle on the floor and gazed up lovingly at J.Lo (sitting comfortably on a stool above them) — first grade storytelling-time style.
Ahora cante!
Melinda Dolittle - Mindy looked pretty tonight, but says she didn't feel sexy enough to do this Latin thing. She chose a lounge chestnut Sway, a song perhaps best remembered from Dean Martin's cheesy version (if you're old enough) — retro Latin pop. For Melinda, this was another performance in which she appeared completely comfortable and relaxed on stage (smooth & sultry, as Paula said). Although this couldn't really be faulted, Simon managed to do so anyway, pulling out the dreaded C word [cabaret], and calling the performance lazy & wooden. This, of course, was completely wack commentary. Mindy cheerily got in the last word when admitting being pleased that Simon finally got to say something mean about her.
Lakisha Jones - Uh, did she just say her daughter's name is Freon? Anyway, Kiki also looked pretty and was on the mark with her cover of the Gloria Estafan hit Conga. I did agree with Paula and Simon who said it was not a singer's song — not a vocal showcase — and that this one was on the 'playing it safe' side. Could Ms. Jones be at risk this week?
Chris Richardson - Smooth is a pretty cool song from Carlos Santana's 1999 album "Supernatural" [sung by Rob Thomas], and it was a good choice for Richardson. J.Lo coached Chris on the best key and helped with some Spanish pronounciation. I can't fault the vocal much, but I still felt a certain something missing from the performance — it almost seemed as if the song was bigger than him and he was struggling to keep a handle on it. I'll have to hand this critique over to our articulate judges:
Randy: Yo, baby. Check it out, dog. Very cool, dog.
Paula: Hot. H-h-hot performance. Sexy. [drools]
Simon: Not the best vocal, but better than the first two.
Haley Scarnato - With our judges having long abandoned any attempts at objectivity with this girl, I feel it is my duty to try to judge fairly this week, as boring as that may be. Well, OK, then. I think one could have predicted Haley's song choice Turn The Beat Around, the ridiculously over-covered Estafan Latin bubblegum pop megahit. Once we move past that, we notice the legs. The legs sound pretty good this week, they are on pitch and are very smooth and move around the stage well, often bending at the knee. They sounded a bit less pageant-y this week, and even slightly transcended cruise-shipness. I give the legs a B+. I definitely felt good about them this week. But alas, once again the judge pre-game huddle determined that this girl must be taken down, legs & all — Simon was unneccessarily cruel again, saying "you can't do well as a singer here." This tactic backfired a few weeks ago, when sympathy votes sparked a comeback trend for Haley. Like her or not, she has some sort of staying power voodoo. I'm thinking she stores it in those heels.Phil Stacey - I think Phil may have done what he needed to do to survive this week. He made a fine song selection with Maria, Maria, raised the coolness factor, and lowered the creepiness factor. Funny how a well-chosen hat, a funky acoustic guitar, a smooth delivery and big money ending can help remind me what I have liked about Phil in the past. The great tonal quality was back [even enough to give J.Lo goose pimples]. But does he have the kind of star quality to take him all the way? Nope. Will he end up in the bottom 3 again? Probably.
Randy was at his clueless best: "Aw-ight, so check it. You know what? I didn't… I mean, it was…but then you…Still, toward the end, you…But…er, uh… I dunno. Uh, what did you think, Paula? Paula took a more Hemingway-esque approach: "Your vocal was real good." Simon wants us to know that he knows Phil is a nice guy, but he is ready to ship him back to Iraq, or Salt Lake City, or wherever he was stationed.
Jordin Sparks - Jordin's smooth voice reminded J.Lo of Michael Jackson. Personally, I think it was the song The Rhythm's Gonna Get You that brought that MJ vibe, but Jordin should be happy for the compliment. Looking appropriately Hispanic tonight with her straight-mode hair, Jordin brought everything to the party that she always does -- the great voice, the energy, the personality, the stage presence. Clueless Jackson reminded us of Jordin's age again. Oh, really, Randy? Is she really 17? Does he get royalty checks from Seventeen magazine every time he says it? Otherwise, I see no reason to mention her age ever again. My money is still on Ms. Sparks.Blake Lewis - J.Lo told Blake that if he's determined to attempt one of her husband's songs (I Need To Know), then he need to forgot about frickin' Marc Anthony and concentrate on the passion in the song. It appeared that Blake humbly took the advice to heart, because he delivered a real vocal this week, perhaps his best of the season — albeit a xerox of Anthony's version. All three judges agree that the choice of song was brilliant, and we were all suitably pleased with the performance, too. Surprisingly good. Blake may really bring up his numbers this week.
Sanjaya Malakar [& His Universe] was granted the coveted show-closing Pimp Spot tonight. And like Mindy-Doo, the goateed Sanjaya chose a cheesy chestnut - a retro Latin pop standard Besame Mucho. A couple of things about this performance made a more positive impression than all the previous ones — it was sung with a little more muscle that usual, and he managed to sing much of it in Spanish. One almost got the impression that the boy was actually trying to raise his game. Visually, Sanjaya could have even passed as Hispanic, so like it or not, this performance could endear him to a whole new American demographic [Ay, caramba!]. Ryan sarcastically described Sanjaya before the commercial as "the embodiment of Latin passion" — but I don't think this kid is ready to be laughed off the show just yet.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Final 9 Meet 80-Year-Old Dude; Party Like It's 1949
Antonio,
back in the day
Tony Bennett has deservedly received every available accolade the music business has to give in his long and legendary career. On this week's show his role was more muse than coach, 'the old dude's' advice often going ignored by the contestants. Ironically, it was an opportunity for our judges to overutilize their favorite adjectives of late: "young," "hip" and "cool" …and for our contestants to see what they could make of the decidedly Old Skool "Great American Songbook."
Set 'em up, Joe:
Blake Lewis: As always, Blake showed good song selection judgement with "Mack The Knife," which was conceived as a "murder ballad" (in German) by Kurt Weill in 1928. The song was jazzed up by Louis Armstrong in 1954; and the definitive swing version was introduced by Bobby Darin five years later. So, this is actually quite a dark song from a lyrical standpoint, but Darin injected it with so much finger-poppin' ring-a-ding swing, it has an inherent coolness factor today which even the likes of Blake Lewis can't completely dispel. But did his delivery hold a candle to the Darin gold standard? Uh, not even close. It was light & airy when it should have been sinewy, and was very pitchy to boot. The judges are are still lapping Lewis up, though Simon showed some reservations. Paula told him that he personified pizazz, giving her the distinction of being the first person to use the word "pizazz" in the last 20 years, outside of the Food Network. She also called him a "hip cat," an interesting compliment from someone whose last hit was in 1991.
Phil Stacey: This guy needed to avoid another ticket to the Bottom 3, and he has not managed it — with a sleep-inducing and gloomy (as Cowell said) rendition of "Night and Day." Phil ignored Tony's advice to sing it with a snappy beat, and instead chose to undersing it completely, with a weirdly affected tone that I've never heard from him before. Simon called it 'slightly dark,' then 'really dark.' They're ready for him to go, and I guess I won't complain when he does.
Melinda Doolittle: I really liked the flat-ironed hair — a much-needed younger look for Mindy-Doo. I initially thought "I Got Rhythm" was going to be a boring choice, and was sure of it when I heard the ballady intro. But Mindy quickly kicked up several notches, right on into her standard, irreproachable mode. Thank God someone finally told her to drop the "I can't believe you really like me!" facial expression when the judges are speaking. She's as solid and finale-bound as ever. Simon was admittedly a little bugged that she is frustratingly perfect.
Chris Richardson: I prefer to concentrate on truly subjective vocal critiques, which is why the expression "cocky little SOB" will not even enter into this review. Chris chose a great Duke Ellington tune, "Don't Get Around Much Anymore," and did it justice. The lower register notes at the beginning were a bit dodgy, but overall it was a very good performance — although the judges were somewhat overenthusiastic about it, in my opinion.
Jordin Sparks: With "On A Clear Day," Jordin once again delivered — not sang, but delivered — and still has the WOW factor for me. The song is from the mid-60s, so it wasn't exactly what I would call a Great American Standard, but she did it proud and nailed the big money ending. And by the way, where was Randy's criticism that one should never attempt to sing a Barbra Streisand song? Instead, it was "heat, fire, hot, da bomb, conflagration, inferno, etc." Paula: You're hip! You're cool! You're a magnet of joy!" Simon was weirdly stand-offish about giving my home girl her deserved props. But…Jordin Sparks will not be denied!
Gina Glocksen: Reserved Rocker Chick Gina really won me over last week. Tonight she made another brilliant choice with "Smile," and to seal the deal, delivered a pretty spot-on rendition. I was impressed by what was essentially a master class in singing. Did you miss the screaming rock 'n roller this week? Simon did — he doesn't know how to market this ballady Gina. So Simon's big diss of Glocksen really rang false — he just wants his rocker chick to return. Calm down, everyone: she'll be back. Paula was remarkably lucid, rightly calling Gina's performance "flawless," and "understated."
Sanjaya Malakar: I was all prepared to discuss the great Paradigm Shift that occurred last week, when Sanjaya the Sensation hi-jacked American Idol, and became bigger than Ryan Seacrest. I was going to say that we need to rethink the whole game — that perhaps there is room for everyone — and that there is a place for untalented singers who have show-biz accumen. Why, look at Madonna, for God's sake. There was even a tiny perverted spot in my brain that wished he would do incredibly well tonight, allowing that to be the Confoundance of The Week. But — ALAS — My Little Pony Boy tossed that whole discussion to the wind tonight with a truly abysmal performance — his worst to date. And need I tell you how BIG a declaration that is? In the pre-show huddle, our judges decided to refrain from any direct commentary on the vocal presentation. Whatever. With a little Clive Davis studio magic, could this dubious Sensation From Hell make chartable records (Mr. Cowell keeps asking himself)? Or is he just an Indian-Italian-American William Hung with fans? Stay tuned. He'll be back, I think. With blonde hair.Haley Scarnato: Haley ignored Tony's suggestion, and in her rendition of Fats Waller's "Ain't Misbehavin" sang "saving my love for you, and you," preferring the more egalatarian [or perhaps slutty] approach to love. Well, the vocal was much better than Sanjaya's, and most importantly, Haley once again chose to stategically spotlight her physical assets [yes, we noticed]. The vocal wasn't terrible, really, and her eyelash batting was very rhythmic. Bizarrely, Randy & Paula completely refused to comment and passed it Simon — who called it "pageant-y." Her fate is still difficult to predict at this point, but perhaps she can do something about world hunger.
Lakisha Jones: Kiki began "Stormy Weather" in a strange, affected voice; and (admit it, people) she was extremely pitchy, for the first time I can recall. Like the others, she ignored Tony's advice, and kept in the "Ain't No Sunshine When He's Gone" tag at the end. She did salvage the song somewhere along the way, and ended very strong. Still, the judges way overpraised — they are determined to keep her in this game.
This week gives me few gut feelings as to the bottom three — it's really a tough call. I will only say that Phil is the #1 contender to go.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Idol Pinch #2
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